There might be no childhood experience purer than the devouring of cotton candy at the circus or a baseball game. It’s fluffy sugar delivered in the strangest way, and you don’t eat it so much as you coat yourself—your fingers, your hands, and all over your content face—in all its glory. And it’s worth all the trouble (well, maybe not for parents), because cotton candy is delicious. That’s why they make so many other treats cotton candy-flavored. But does it work in the reverse? If you turn other flavors into cotton candy, would the result be good? That question is being put to the ultimate test, as you can now order both BBQ Sauce and Spicy Jalapeño cotton candy.
The wonderful mad geniuses at Vat19, who previously brought us the world’s largest gummy pizza, are now selling all new cotton candy flavors. Most of them sound incredible and/or delightfully intriguing, like Orange Dreamiscle, Key Lime, Rosé, Cinnamon, Birthday Cake, Strawberry Cheesecake, and more. Two of them, BBQ Sauce and Spicy Jalapeño, definitely sound… less enticing.
Their BBQ Sauce Cotton Candy, a “sweet snack” that blends “brown sugar, ketchup, and smoke that make up the condiment you would slather on your meal at your favorite BBQ joint,” doesn’t seem like a flavor combination our brain and mouth will be able to reconcile.
But that’s a bona fide dessert compared to their Spicy Jalapeño Cotton Candy, which they say “isn’t spicy enough to put you in serious pain, but its robust heat is enough to scorch your tongue.” Sounds like something an evil witch hands out on Halloween.
Do we want to eat either of these? No. Would we? Of course we would. And if you want to try either of them you can order a 1.2 ounce container of each for $3.99. After all, is there any adult experience purer than taking something you loved as a kid and making it weird?