Westeros isn’t all death and destruction… it’s only mostly death and destruction. Sometimes life in the Seven Kingdoms is pretty good, and sometimes it’s downright hilarious. Here are ten of the funniest moments in Game of Thrones history.
Tyrion “Confesses” in the Vale
We could make this list entirely Tyrion-based and we still wouldn’t be able to include all of his funniest moments, but his “confession” to Lady Lysa Arryn is still one of his best. Imprisoned by Catelyn Stark and in danger of falling to his death out of his open prison, Tyrion got out by saying he was ready to admit to his crimes. But rather than say he had tried to kill Jon Arryn and Brandon Stark like everyone expected, he started talking about nasty pranks he had pulled as a kid. This scene is why we’ll never be able to eat Turtle Stew.
Joffrey Gets Slapped (a Lot)
The only downside to watching Joffrey choke at his own wedding: it meant we’d never get to see his sniveling face get slapped again. And again. And again. Tyrion had no problems disciplining his nephew, and even Cersei got in on it one time. We wish he were still alive so everyone in the Seven Kingdoms got to take a whack. Plus then we could watch him die again.
Tyrion Swears His Own Night’s Watch Vow
Though Tywin forced them to get married, Tyrion refused to go to bed with Sansa against her wishes, telling her on their wedding night he would not share her bed unless she invited him. When she asked him what would happen if she never wanted him to, Tyrion delivered one of the funniest lines in show history: “And so my watch begins.”
Jaime Waves Hello With His New Hand
One of the most sardonic people in Westeros, Jaime Lannister, didn’t always have a lot to laugh about. But that never stopped him from making us laugh, which he did right after he got his new golden hand from Qyburn, using it to wave goodbye. It’s a perfectly silly moment that still cracks us up.
A Small Council Meeting “Drags” On
Twyin Lannister’s first Small Council meeting after winning the Battle of Blackwater was unlike any other, with everyone silently fighting over seating arrangements like kids; Cersei moved her chair to sit at her father’s right hand, making for a tense, awkward scene. Tyrion then responsed by slooooowly dragging a chair to sit at the far end, opposite his father, in a power move that proved he could be funny without using his words.
Hot Pie Explains the Importance of the Gravy
We could have also gone with “Hot Pie” alone as an entry, because his mere existence is hilarious, but we’ll always laugh anytime we hear someone talking about making gravy. You see, too many people give up on the gravy, but you can’t. You can’t give up on the gravy. Brienne’s pain during this conversation brings this scene to a whole other level.
Arya Learns Her Aunt Died
Sometimes gallows humor is the best kind of humor. Recall when an exhausted Arya and the Hound finally made it to the Vale so she could be ransomed to the only family she had left after having arrived at the Red Wedding too late. Her delayed reaction when she was told her aunt Lysa was dead—a disbelieving, dark laugh at the absurdity of life—was priceless.
Lady Olenna Bites the Sand Snakes
The Queen of Thorns had as sharp a tongue as anyone in the Realm, and the Sand Snakes were no match for it when Lady Olenna met with Ellaria Sand and Varys in Dorne. Olenna shut down each of Oberyn’s daughters in short order, defanging them in a battle of words they weren’t ready for.
Any Time Tormund Looked at Brienne
Whether talking about the size of Jon’s little Longclaw, or regaling us with stories of being nursed by a giant, Tormund consistently made us laugh, But he was at his absolute funniest when he wasn’t talking. Nothing got us like him eying “the big woman” who he hoped to woo. Once again, Brienne’s reactions were a huge piece of one of the best running gags on the show.
Bronn Meets Randyll Tarly’s Other Son
“Ser Jaime.”
“Rickon?”
“Dickon.”
(Bronn laughs uncontrollably)
It’s only fitting on a show with the slogan “valar morghulis” that a sellsword killed us with laughter.
Images: HBO