I love Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams. The company makes some of the creamiest, tastiest, most inventive frozen treats on the market. I’ve genuinely never tasted anything from the company that wasn’t, at minimum, good. And most flavors are absolutely delicious. Like their Gooey Butter Cake, one of the best things I’eve ever eaten period. However, as you might have guessed from all this praise, something is amiss in the kitchen. I’m not exactly sure what to make of their newest release. It’s a bizarre food mashup that doesn’t scream ice cream. It screams “oh no!” Because as much as I trust Jeni’s, I don’t know if I want to dig into its new Everything Bagel flavor.
It’s schmear! The flavor you never knew you wanted: Everything Bagel.
— Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams (@jenisicecreams) January 25, 2021
Buttery streusel laden with sesame, poppy seeds—and yes, onions and garlic—woven throughout cream cheese ice cream.
Now available by the pint online, in shops, and for local delivery via the Jeni’s app. pic.twitter.com/b98aiREJxw
Jeni’s has announced their latest crossover concoction, which combines dessert with a “schmear” of breakfast. The all-new Everything Bagel flavor is a cream cheese ice cream with “everything bagel gravel.” It features buttery streusel and is “laden with sesame,” poppy seeds, and onions and garlic “woven throughout.”
Onions. And garlic. In ice cream. That makes sense, because those both go on an everything bagel. But that raises, what you would think is an obvious, yet vital question: why? Why make an Everything Bagel ice cream when that means onion and garlic?
Jeni’s
According to Jeni’s though, my skepticism is unwarranted. On their online store they say this is a huge winner.
“There are rare moments when we create a flavor so shockingly good the Jeni’s test kitchen looks like a soundless rave. We can’t help but dance. Shimmy. Feel the flavor in our bones. This is one of those ice creams. A soul-shaking, dancing-with-no-music kind of delicious.”
Look, I’m not calling the excellent team at Jeni’s liars. But I wouldn’t bet on me dancing when/if I ever try this. If you’re eager to taste this bizarre mix, you can order a pint ($12) through their online store. You can also find it at local grocers where Jeni’s is sold. And you can also have it delivered via the Jeni’s app.
Jeni’s
Maybe it will be excellent, like everything Jeni’s makes. The company says it’s Everything Bagel flavor is “an ice cream acceptable to eat any time of day,” including breakfast.
