When you get two hobbits together, trouble will follow. Especially if the two starting the party are Merry and Pippin. But you just can’t keep two good hobbits separated. Billy Boyd and Dominic Monaghan have started a podcast called The Friendship Onion. On it, they discuss all things The Lord of the Rings. Up to and including which The Lord of the Rings quotes would have improved with a little swearing.
In this clip, Billy Boyd and Dominic Monaghan delightedly discover that The Lord of the Rings has a PG-13 rating in the United States. This means the movie could have contained a singular swear word. Of course, the movies didn’t actually make use of this ability. But Boyd and Monaghan, in true Merry and Pippin style, invite us to imagine the possibilities.
Their top choices? Gandalf saying, “F**cking fool of a Tuck.” Or Pippin say, “Oh, I’m really f**cking sorry, Gandalf.” And the best one, of course. the idea of Aragorn saying, “My friends, you f**cking bow to know one.” I admit that’s where I lost it. Nothing like the King of Gondor dropping a casual swear at the most emotional moment.
Billy Boyd and Dominic Monaghan invite their The Friendship Onion listeners to share their own suggestions. And, of course, the comments are rife with great ideas. But some other great ones include the movie’s greatest lines. “I am no f**king man,” for instance, sounds exactly like what Eowyn meant to say. And how about “One ring to f**king rule them all?” The possibilities seem endless. We feel like Gandalf has a few good swears in him if anyone does, though. So he’d get our vote to have The One Swear.
But honestly, more PG-13 movies should take advantage of the one swear rule, if you ask us. Just as a fun little Easter egg for fans.