There’s an old adage I’ve always hated: “A picture is worth a thousand words.” As someone who earns a living writing, often with strict word count minimums and/or maximums, I can tell you from years of experience that maxim is garbage. Some pictures are barely worth talking about. Others can fill volumes. But on rare occasions a picture can be worth an infinite number of words, and yet, none of them can do justice to what you’re seeing. And the ridiculous photos for this bizarre/slightly upsetting Pokémon Gengar pillow/bed/nightmare with a super long tongue is definitely one of those occasions.
I know. You thought I was exaggerating. It’s understandable. There was no way you could have anticipated about a series of photos featuring a man in a suit doing whatever the hell he’s doing here. But, ultimately, there doesn’t seem to be any wrong way—or right way—to use this Gengar “who absolutely wants to be licked.” Yeah, that’s the actual official tag line for this Bandai item.
Which has more photos for us to both enjoy and cower from at the same time.
They should have sent a poet…with a canister of gasoline and matches.
Made entirely of polyester, the body of this peculiar Pokémon product stands roughly 19-inches tall, 21.5-inches wide, and x 21-inches deep. Clearly the perfect size to stick your head inside when Max Bialystock is mean to you about opening night. Of course, it’s the six-and-a-half foot tongue that is the real star of this Gengar. You can lie down on it. Wrap yourself up with it. Use it as a pillow or a blanket. Or really anything you want, so long as you keep your personal business to yourself. We can’t imagine what else you might do with this. And we definitely don’t want to know when you figure it out.
Designed for ages 15 and above (LOL), this strange item is available for pre-order now. It sells for 25,950 yen (tax included). That’s about $250 America. It’s scheduled to ship in June 2021.
Which is definitely not enough time for me to find all the words I need to describe these images. Because sometimes a picture is worth all the words, but none of them are quite right.