I’ve lived in a cold weather state all my life. I’m used to snow and ice in all its many horrible formsOpens in a new tab. And I can honestly say I never eat either. The idea of getting some freshly fallen flakes to make an au naturel snow cone sounds vile. And turning an icicle into a free popsicle is even grosser. Yet, despite refusing to do either, I’ve never consciously pondered the exact reason why the thought disgusts me so much. But now a meteorologistOpens in a new tab has articulated something I’ve apparently always inherently realized. It’s a crappy idea to eat icicles.
And we mean that quite literally. Because when you eat an icicle, you are eating poopOpens in a new tab.
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On TikTok meteorologist Katie NikolaouOpens in a new tab of KMEG in Sioux City, Iowa shared the simple reason you should not lick or chew an icicle—it probably has actual crap in it. Her delightful short videos (which we first heard about at BuzzfeedOpens in a new tab) explain the seemingly obvious reason why. Icicles form from water running down roofs. Roofs are hot spots for birds. And birds treat those roofs like their own personal toilets. You know, because they’re birds. They don’t know any better. The water in that icicle likely ran through some avian poop before it froze. Not to mention all of the other gross stuff you might find on a roof that you would never willingly ingest in a million years.
Unless you love eating rotting squirrel carcass that is.
And the same caveats apply to snow and rain too. Both can be found outside. You know, outside, the place where bugs and dirt live. The place you put your garbage.
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Oh, yeah, and don’t think you’re going to pull off the perfect crime with an icicle either. They’re not quite the weapon pop culture would have you believe.
Well, at least not as a knife.
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Alright, I’ll be honest: I thought you could stab someone with an icicle. Guess I was wrong about that. But I’ve always thought eating snow and ice was gross, even if I never considered exactly why that was true.
It’s nice to learn I haven’t been full of s**t.
