:hikes up pants being held up by a belt with an onion tied to it: In my day if we didn’t have “streaming.” If we wanted to see a movie we had to go to a theater! And if we wanted to see how Beatrix Kiddo’s story ended we had to wait six whole months! Now these yoots can stay in their pajamas and watch her entire revenge tale from their couch. No, seriously. Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair is coming to home video.
Apple TV is now listing Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair for pre-order. (Which we first heard about at Polygon.) The unrated film will arrive on both the streaming site and other digital services starting on February 17. That’s a quick turnaround from it’s theatrical release in December 2025. But not really since this “movie” came out in two parts in 2003 and 2004. The “new” four hour and 35 minute film presents both Kill Bill: Volume 1 and Kill Bill: Volume 2 as one single movie, the way Quentin Tarantino originally planned to release it.
This mega movie is actually more than the sum of its parts. The Whole Bloody Affair includes a new anime sequence as well as an intermission. That intermission was definitely appreciated when this was screening in theaters. But it won’t necessarily serve the same purpose it did when the lengthy film premiered. The true value of streaming has nothing to do with staying home. (That’s the worst part!) It’s that streaming means you can just pause a movie whenever you like because nature calls. Or, you know, because a deadly world class warrior showed up seeking revenge.
Either/or. If the latter happens, maybe just suggest instead of exacting revenge they sit down and watch Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair with you. That will at least buy you plenty of time to come up with a plan.