The series finale of How I Met Your Mother was such a disaster it retroactively it makes it hard to watch reruns and realize what Ted is really discussing with his kids. But there was no ending so bad it could have marred the series’ greatest gift— Robin Sparkles. Robin Scherbatsky’s secret past as a (very, very) Canadian popstar resulted in some amazing videos and tracks, including one of the greatest fictional songs ever recorded, “Let’s Go to the Mall.” But that’s not something any of us should be doing right now. So Cobie Smulders dusted off her old denim jacket to perform an updated version with social distancing appropriate lyrics.
And we are all “aboot” “Let’s All Stay at Home.”
First: Cobie Smulders is an international treasure. Second: Hell yeah! This song still rocks even with new lyrics and played on a piano. Just like she hoped, it took our mind off of COVID-19, even as it was reminding us we can’t head down to the mall and hang like when we were teenyboppers.
Smulders didn’t do this alone. How I Met Your Mother creator Carter Bays and writer Craig Thomas penned the new lyrics. (You can find them below). And Brian Kim, who composed many of the series’ songs, wrote the music for this new piano version. (Then rewrote it for Smulders so it wasn’t “too challenging.”)
CBS
You can find the original version of “Let’s Go to the Mall” right here.
There aren’t enough terrible series finale to ever make us not love Robin Sparkles. Hopefully some day we can go out and see her live in concert.
Maybe she’ll sing both versions.
“Let’s Not Go to the Mall” Lyrics
Hey there Jessica
Long time Tori
We can’t go to the mall
I’m so sorry
Keep on those jelly bracelets
And that cool graffiti coat
‘Cause the mall is in our hearts
That’s what it’s all about
I have to go do Zoom school soon
At least until we’re all immune
But that’s just fine
I’m gonna follow COVID guidelines
Everybody come and play
Throw every last care away
Let’s all stay at home today
There’s this boy I like
Met him at the food court
He’s got hair like Gretzky
And he just jumps on his skateboard
I hope he asks me out
Takes me to my favorite spot
But for now that’s not allowed
But I still got that robot
My dad says I’m too young to date (lame)
The guidelines say we have to wait (that’s fair)
But that’s okay
I’m gonna rock your body anyway
I’m gonna isolate ’til Canada Day
Everybody come and play
Throw every last care away
Let’s all stay at home today
Wanna go to the mall with a couple of friends
Want to eat Timbits ’til my belly distends
I want hoop earrings and a Benetton skirt
Want to get too hot at an Alanis concert
Throw on the tube
And what do you know?
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau
He said, “Young lady you better quarantine.”
So I’m gonna “CBC and chill” with some hot poutine
Everybody come and play
Throw every last care away
Let’s all stay at home today
But I want to go to the mall
Want to go to the ma-aa-all?
Can we go to the mall?
Want to go to the ma-aa-all?
We’ll go to the mall
When it’s safe to, y’a-aa-all
Let’s go to the mall
Let’s go to the mall-aa-aaaallll
Featured Image: CBS