We have a million questions about Game of Thrones‘ final season. Who will die? Will they stop the Night King? Who will end up on the Iron Throne? What surprises does the show still have for us? But one very important question has now been answered: who will have the best beard? HBO released a new batch of character images from the final season, and it is full of fantastic facial hair. While we love them all, here’s the definitive ranking of which is best.
(Spoiler alert: everyone is competing for second as far as we’re concerned, and we don’t just mean on the show. We mean all beards everywhere.)
5) Samwell Tarly
Sam’s neatly trimmed beard is a good look for him, even if we’d like to see a little more growth on his cheeks to avoid it feeling like a thick chinstrap. The reason he gets the bottom spot despite this being a solid look is twofold: 1) the ones above him are more impressive, and 2) he looks more like an intern Musketeer than a veteran of the Night’s Watch.
4) Davos Seaworth
Spicing things up with his salt and pepper look is the Onion Knight himself, Ser Davos Seaworth. His beard gives him earned gravitas, but years on the sea and fighting beside kings has left it looking scratchy. He’d really benefit from a nice oil to take off a little bit of the edge. His chin looks a little too much like a white Brillo Pad.
3) Jon Snow
If you look up the definition of “rock solid,” you find this picture of Jon’s beard. The strength of this facial hair rests in his superb mustache and excellent chin growth, which are both full and kingly. He loses points for the thinner follicles on his cheek, which strangely connect to his scalp in a flimsy line. Jon has A+ hair everywhere on his head except his cheeks and his sideburns.
2) Tyrion Lannister
The most famous dwarf in Westeros stands tall with this massively impressive beard. Great cheek coverage fills out his thick yet neatly kept goatee. Those sprinkles of white and grey perfectly add to the beard’s overall look, which screams “I drink and I know things.” This entire beard is on point. This is a beard we want to ask for advice before toasting it with a Dornish Gold.
1) Jaime Lannister
Look. At. This. Beautiful. Bastard. He’s sporting what can only be described as a beard that pays the ultimate tribute to both the old gods and the new. Unlike the unruly, scraggly, gross look he had while a captive of the Starks, this is neat yet thick. It’s intimidating yet inviting. It’s tough yet soft. And with a hint of salt on the bottom, it lets you know these are the follicles of a man who has lived, but still has plenty left in tank.
This beard says, “I know I’m great,” and all we can say in response is, “So do we.”
We have lots of questions about Game of Thrones final season, but whose beard will be the best is not one of them.