Warning: Mild spoilers follow for Avengers: Infinity War.
Say what you will about the plot and stakes of Infinity War, the film features the best display of facial hair in the Marvel Cinematic Universe to date. Full beards, sexy scruff, and carefully trimmed goatees—the latest Avengers movie has facial hair for just about every preference. But who has the best bristles of the bunch? We've ranked them from worst to best.
Honorable Mention - M'Baku
I see you, M'Baku, and I appreciate you. I hope you and your fierce beard get more time to shine in future films.
Peter Quill is rocking a goatee with some hair on his cheeks that's kind of like mutton chops but not? It's an old school, retro choice for beard styling, and it does not work. This place on the list may or may not be affected by Quill making the worst decision in the whole movie.
9. Rocket Raccoon
Rocket's face is covered in hair, so therefore it is facial hair. It's tidy and brushed, and accents his eyes.
8. Bucky Barnes
Bucky's beard is more like a few days of lightly groomed stubble than beard. It could easily fall into scraggly territory, but it's apparent Bucky's been investing time in a little hair maintenance while recovering in Wakanda.
Falcon rocks the short boxed beard with sharp, clean edges. The fuller but still short in length sides accent his face for a polished, classy look.
6. Iron Man
Tony Stark is acutely aware of how he looks. No part of his appearance is an accident. He's sticking with his tried and true version of an anchor beard with a goatee and barely connected mustache. It's an iconic, strong addition to Stark's appearance.
Thor's beard looks A+ in Infinity War. It's god-worthy, and wow, does this style of beard complement his short hair. The only reason Thor's not higher on this list is because the style is messy. Yes, I know he's been through a lot in the days preceding Infinity War, but rules are rules.
4. Black Panther
T'Challa's facial hair mirrors Falcon's, but with thinner sides to make it a true boxed beard. The defined lines show off more of his face and add a mature, regal layer to his presence.
3. Doctor Strange
No one wears a goatee like Doctor Strange. His mustache, chin patch, and carefully trimmed sides form a circle to match the structure of his face perfectly. Without this goatee, he looks youthful and silly. With it, you don't doubt he is a (ridiculously attractive) Sorcerer Supreme.
Heimdall's appearance in Infinity War is brief, but his full, lush but not overgrown beard is unforgettable. The salt and pepper effect puts his facial hair near the top of the list.
Note: this photo is from Thor: Ragnarok, but the beard is the same in Infinity War.
1. Captain America
Captain America's thick, glorious beard is unquestionably the best facial hair in Infinity War. The darker color is striking against his lighter hair, and it makes him look serious and edgy. Like, this is the Cap you do not want to screw with.
Who do you think has the best facial hair in Infinity War? Share your choices and your reasoning in the comments below.
Amy Ratcliffe is an Associate Editor for Nerdist. Follow her on Twitter.