The tagline for Ti West’s take on A Christmas Carol, titled Ebenezer, says, “Think you know his story? Think again.”
No.
I absolutely refuse to “think again,” because Charles Dickens’ iconic story is, quite literally, the story of Scrooge. That’s the whole thing. It’s the whole thing. But fine, whatever! Let’s imagine for a second it isn’t morally repugnant to cast Johnny Depp as the lead of your film in the year 2026 and give this movie a chance. Wild adaptations that riff off even the best source material can still be really good and interesting. Well, based on the latest look at Ebenzer it will not be one of them. The newest Ebenezer trailer is one of the worst of the year.
Have you always found the Ghost of Christmas Present too jolly? Too full of mirth and hope? Well, congratulations, because Ti West and screenwriter Nathaniel Halpern also felt the same way. They looked at the very embodiment of Christmas joy and said, “Nah. Not in our Christmas movie.”
Seriously, what is going on in this Ebenezer trailer and movie? It’s so unclear; the film’s official synopsis doesn’t even attempt to tell you. From Paramount:
This November, Johnny Depp is Ebenezer Scrooge. The name you know, the story you don’t.
Again, we absolutely know it. I also know this movie’s existence makes me want to drink enough eggnog to forget everything.
Great makeup on Depp in the Ebenezer trailer. He looks super believable as an old man and not like a sentient melted candle who learned how to act from watching episodes of Mr. Bean on mute.
Ebenzer also stars Rupert Grint, Andrea Riseborough, Sam Claflin, Daisy Ridley, Arthur Conti, Ellie Bamber, Henry Lloyd-Hughes, Charlie Murphy, Tramell Tillman, and Ian McKellen. I like most of those people. So I wish I were seeing them under better circumstances.
I don’t know who this film is for, and I am very okay with that. If Ebenezer looks like something you’ll want to see after this trailer, it debuts in theaters on November 13. I promise, though, you will know his story.