The person who came up with the concept of quiet cars on trains deserves a Noble Peace Prize. Hitting the rails in blissful silence while the wonders of the world pass by is a precious moment of zen. Even during the most hectic commutes. That is if no world-class assassins are trying to kill each other a few seats down. Then it can be a little less idyllic. Fortunately, the first high-octane trailer for Bullet Train starring Brad Pitt shows that those highly-trained killers can still be respectful of the rules even when that does happen. Minus the part where they turn every car into a fight to the death. That’s definitely not allowed on any part of the train—even one as absurd as this one.
Sony‘s Bullet Train looks like what you’d get if John Wick decided to enjoy the comforts of Japan’s high-speed rails. But only after he decided to stop killing people for good even though he had one final job. And that job was to steal Marcellus Wallace’s briefcase from Pulp Fiction while trapped on the world’s most ridiculous train. And hell yeah, you better believe that’s a movie we want to see.
However, giving up his murderous ways might not be an option for Pitt. Not with an “eclectic, diverse” group of assassins, “all with connected yet conflicting objectives,” in search of that briefcase. And this Bullet Train trailer makes clear those other killers have no problem doing what they must to get it. This looks to be a, literally, action-packed ride.
Deadpool 2‘s David Leitch directs, with a screenplay Zak Olkewicz (Fear Street: Part Two – 1978). The film is an adaptation of author Kotaro Isaka’s book Maria Beetle. It also stars Joey King, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Brian Tyree Henry, Andrew Koji, Hiroyuki Sanada, Benito A Martínez Ocasio (a.k.a. Bad Bunny), and Michael Shannon in an amazing wig of long gray hair. Seriously, this trailer is bonkers in the best way, but we’d be sold on the film if all we saw of it was this still.
Bullet Train pulls into theaters on August 15. Please remember, though, no matter how excited you might be to see it, if you take the train to the theater, please be respectful of all rules. That involves staying silent in the quiet car. And also not murdering your fellow passengers. Not unless you’re both professional assassins.
Originally published on March 2, 2022.
