While Universal Studios Orlando’s Halloween Horror Nights (HHN) gets the lion’s share of the attention, Universal Studios Hollywood’s own event is just as good, if not better at times. This is the 23rd year of the event, which has been scaring guests regularly during spooky season since 1997. We visited Universal Studios Hollywood’s HHN and now we are fully prepared to rank all eight of this year’s haunted house attractions, from the least frightening to the scariest.
8. Insidious: The Further
Insidious is one of the most popular horror franchises of the last decade. It has had five (soon to be six) films, and several haunted houses at HHN over the years. And this year’s Insidious house, The Further, celebrates all the demonic entities that exist in that supernatural realm. This haunted house has a lot of great scare actors throughout, jumping out at you to the tune of “Tiptoe Through the Tulips.” We appreciate a house that has a copious amount of jump scares throughout.
So why is it at the bottom of our HHN Hollywood rankings? Here’s why: there’s a room in this haunted house that recreates a bathroom where a dummy dressed as a man is throwing up into a toilet. And they actually pump in vomit smells into the room. Look, we really don’t need that level of immersion, Universal. It’s just gross. We can kind of understand why you had vomit smells in The Exorcist attractions of years past. However, the Insidious house shouldn’t make us want to puke ourselves.
7. Dead Exposure: Death Valley
This year’s “science gone wrong” haunted house takes us into a secret government lab deep in the desert, where things have recently taken a turn for the worse. We’re not sure what went wrong in this lab, but there’s toxic waste, (projected) flames, and lots of dead bodies in encased in plastic bags. Actually, it’s the monkeys they’ve experimented on that creep us out the most, that appear in the beginning of the experience. Pure nightmare fuel. While this house has many toxic waste-zombified creatures, far too many of them are static dummies and not actual scare actors. There’s also a path of blood on the floor you think would lead to something scarier. The theming is top-notch for this haunted house, but the lack of good jump scares puts this one closer to the bottom of our ranking.
6. Universal Monsters: Eternal Bloodlines
Universal Studios started modern horror cinema (and cinematic universes) with their Universal Monsters in the ‘30s and ‘40s. So almost every year, HHN gives us a Universal Monsters-themed haunted house of some kind. This year, it was Eternal Bloodlines, where we follow a female Van Helsing descendent as she fights creatures of the night. We see a lot of a warrior Bride of Frankenstein, and a few assorted ghouls wandering the halls. But we don’t encounter Dracula, the Wolfman, or Frankenstein till the very end of the experience. So we have to knock off a point or two for that. We think 2022’s Legends Collide and last year’s Unmasked were better Universal Monsters haunted houses overall.
5: Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire
We weren’t crazy about Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire as a movie. Yet in terms of detail and adherence in recreating that film, this haunted house succeeds. We enter through Ray’s Occult Books, recreating a key location from the movie. After, we journey into other locales from the film’s narrative. The best part of this house is the scene where a group of 1900s-era firefighters become frozen solid by supernatural means. The “frozen” scare actors actually convinced us they were dummies and genuinely scared us when they “thawed,” so to speak.
We were startled here and there in the Frozen Empire haunted house by Slimer and the occasional Terror Dog. But this one is perhaps the least traditionally scary haunted house this year. As much as well love it, Ghostbusters is just not that scary of a franchise, let’s be honest. But we don’t suggest you skip it, because getting to wander in the Ghostbusters’ firehouse as they try to capture spooks is worth it. Still, this one can’t compete with the excellent Universal haunted house that recreated the original Ghostbusters back in 2019. That one was an all-time favorite.
4. The Weeknd: Nightmare Trilogy
This is the third haunted house at HHN centering around pop megastar The Weeknd, which takes us on a journey of his deepest, darkest nightmares. It’s mostly a series of demented nightclubs featuring demons, psychedelic imagery, and monstrous versions of the singer in various stages of torture. There’s even a version of him where he’s some kind of demonic baby in a bathtub full of blood. (Don’t ask.) The creepiest and coolest part is a walkway with several giant neon eyeballs. Some of these eyeballs are, of course, scare actors waiting to jump out at you. The weirdest part is when you get to a torture chamber where various versions of the singer are mutilated to the sound of his own music. We don’t know exactly what The Weeknd is working through considering the content of these attractions but we can’t lie, it’s entertaining!
3. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Legacy of Leatherface
Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre turns fifty this year. So of course, HHN needed to have a haunted house to honor Leatherface and family on their golden anniversary. From the moment you enter the Hooper & Henkel Meat Processing Plant and are greeted by a scare actor wearing a dead cow’s head, you know you’re in for a gruesome good time. Leatherface and his demented family immediately greet you with buzzing chainsaws. Not to mention all the corpses of their poor victims ready to become lunch.
The best jump scare moment comes as one of the twisted family members rips the face off what looks like a dummy on the table, exposing his mutilated musculature underneath, only for him to suddenly move and scream bloody murder, revealing he’s not a dummy at all. This got a real yelp out of us. We noted some unpleasant odors wafting in, but nothing that revolting. Between that, all the barrels of decomposing corpses, and human meaty bits thrown all over the place, this one is definitely the most revolting haunted house at HHN this year.
2. Monstrous 2: The Legends of Latin America
Latin America has a vibrant spooky mythology of its own, which HHN has explored before. A few years back, they gave us the Legend of La Llorona house. And this year, they’ve sequelized Monstrous: The Legends of Latin America with a part 2. From the start, where you enter a dusty crypt with crumbling skeletons, you know you’re in for some good theming. The first monster who jumps at you is El Charro Negro from Mexican folklore, who appears as an undead mariachi.
Several genuinely creepy hell hounds growl at you, too. But the best creature in the house is El Chuy, whose massive claws pop out from under a child’s bed in a very cool effect. But the best part is when its massive head emerges out of a cave wall, and it’s legit terrifying. That grand finale moment makes this one a favorite of the night.
1. A Quiet Place
A Quiet Place is one of the biggest horror franchises of the modern era, so it was high time they got a haunted house of their own at Universal HHN. Despite A Quiet Place: Day One is still fresh in everyone’s minds, but this haunted house focuses on the first film. We’re taken to the remote Abbot family farmhouse from the original, and actors appear throughout the house reminding you that you need to stay completely silent, or else the creatures will sense you and have you for breakfast.
The Death Angels, the blind aliens from the franchise, are this haunted house’s highlight. And they appear quite often in the form of giant screeching animatronics, some that are among the best HHN has ever made. A few of these are so detailed and genuinely screen worthy, like the one who hovers over the baby’s crib recreating a scene from the film. Between the animatronics and the generous amount of scare points along the attraction, A Quiet Place truly raises the bar for HHN Haunted Houses. This is the one you want to make sure you see this year.
