Can whales swallow humans? For anyone scared of the ocean or Bible stories, science can put some of those fears to rest. The video below by House of the Future points out that only one species of whale even has a throat big enough to fit a human. And yes, you would suffocate or be crushed or burned in acid if that happened. Thankfully, the likelihood of you ending up in a sperm whale’s digestive tract is essentially zero. But… make sure to enjoy the upcoming movie Whalefall anyway!
The sperm whale is massive and regularly feeds on giant squid. If the sperm whale swallowed you, you’d first pass by its eight inch long teeth, and might get and arm or a leg torn off. Then you’d be swallowed whole and suffocate in the espophogus, as there would be no oxygen to breathe in the whale. In the whales for stomaches, your body will be crushed, smashed, and doused in gastric acide juices. Your flesh would dissolve, yum. Ultimately, if you were swallowed and then digested by a sperm whale, parts of you may resurface in ambergris, a waxy substance that eases the passing of hard objects like squid beaks. As mentioned in the video, people use it in perfumes. It is rare and a recent 280-pound chunk of it sold for $1.5 million.
As shown in Finding Nemo, humpbacks and other large species of whale are filter feeders and eat krill and small fish. The video points out that the throats of these whales aren’t big enough to even swallow human body parts, much less a whole human. But the risk isn’t just if you’re swallowed. Their mouths are big enough to hold a human. If they dive with you in there, you could suffocate… Which is similar to what Whalefall suggests. A lobster diver that found himself in a whale’s mouth (though not technically swallowed by a whale) survived because he had scuba equipment to help him breathe.
Two kayakers also ended up in a whale’s mouth. Humpback whales use a strategy called bubble net feeding. They swim to the surface with their huge mouths open in order to catch schools of fish. Anything in the way also ends up in their mouths, and the kayakers were much too close.
Hopefully the researchers trying to translate sperm whale language are making progress so we can avoid such unpleasantries and can politely ask whales not to swallow us if we’re too close. What about the stat at the beginning of the video, that you have a one in a million chance of a whale swallowing you? Since there’s no reason to think anyone ever has been, this is closer to one in 107 billion.
Originally published on May 23, 2022.