We’re not sure when it happened – maybe it was this pair of sneakers – but at some point, we went from ironically enjoying ugly Christmas sweaters to sincerely loving them. Their bizarre aesthetic of green and red patterns reminds us of the holiday and everything good that goes with it. Seeing someone or even something adorned in that fashion faux pas instantly transports us to the Yuletide season, making it easy to imagine ourselves sitting by the fire listening to “Jingle Bells” with a warm cup of hot cocoa in hand. This year, we’ll be able to decorate our coffee in that classic Christmas attire, with Vat19’s removable Ugly Sweater Mug. And it won’t just make your hot chocolate more festive, it will do the most important thing any sweater does: cover up a very hairy chest.
This hand-wash only, 20-ounce ceramic mug ($9.99) comes “wrapped snugly in an awesomely cheesy holiday sweater with a notched front that proudly shows off a hint of chest hair underneath,” giving it a real National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation ethos in the best way. That description feels even more accurate when you remove the koozie-like knit pullover to “reveal an illustration of a man’s barreled chest that’s both sparsely drawn and overly-detailed.”
Somehow, “overly-detailed” feels both way too accurate and insufficient to describe how unsettling that is. This looks like an angry space gorilla, which is not a good look for anyone.
Because whether it’s late on Christmas Eve when we’re having an egg nog nightcap or early Christmas morning when we have a cup of Joe as everyone opens their presents, we’ll want to keep this mug covered up. Even if we didn’t genuinely love that ugly Christmas sweater look, it would still be preferable to seeing a big hairy chest.
We don’t even ironically like how that looks.
Featured Image: Vat19