This year’s inaugural Pop-Tarts Bowl featured the 19-ranked NC State Wolfpack football team taking on the Kansas State Wildcats. The two squads met on the field at Camping World Stadium in Orlando, Florida. Who won? ALL OF US. Kansas State’s 28-19 victory resulted in one of the most absurd mascot moments in human history. Since they won, the Wildcats got to eat the first-ever edible mascot after the game’s giant walking Pop-Tart happily jumped into a gigantic toaster so players could consume his flesh.
No, not a single word of that is made up.
The inaugural Pop-Tarts Bowl managed to separate itself from a plethora of otherwise forgettable college bowl games this year by cooking up something new. Specifically it cooked a mascot. The food company’s sentient symbol made a glorious debut at the start of the game. It introduced itself to fans by popping out of an enormous toaster on the field.
That oversized kitchen appliance is also where the mascot ended its story after the game. Holding a sign that said, “Dreams really do come true,” it climbed back onto the toaster. It was then lowered down Terminator 2 style so it could be cooked like a Pop-Tart. Its warm carcass then emerged on a tray below where members of the Kansas State Wildcats partook of the Pop-Tart corpse.
Perfection indeed. Perfection indeed.
Would I eat a mascot? It depends, obviously. I’m not going to eat Grimace.* But would I eat the Pop-Tart mascot? You better believe it. I might go back to college just to try and play in the Pop-Tart Bowl Game. I mean, look at this gigantic toasted pantry pastry. LOOK AT IT.
If you have some larger questions about what this mascot meal means you aren’t alone.
*I would eat Grimace. Purple monster meat curiosity would get the best of me.
