As a movie dork, one of the most fun things you can do is log the billion things you watch in a month on Letterboxd. The app for cinephiles has become the must-visit home for people who want to say one to seven thousand things about new and old movies. Plus, it’s a very helpful way to check if you’ve seen something. Me? I one time couldn’t remember if I’d seen the movie The Vampires Night Orgy. I may be one of one in the list of people who couldn’t remember if they had or had not seen that. (At the time I hadn’t; I now have.)
At any rate, it’s fun. So intrinsic has Letterboxd become for the movies and moviegoing, studios have started actively marketing to Letterboxd users. That’s just good business, really. So, for that reason, I’m not surprised the marketing people for Paramount thought doing so for the upcoming sixth Scary Movie was a good idea. Their scheme was to make a Letterboxd account for the fictional character Brenda Meeks, as played by Regina Hall. She’s the spoof franchise’s resident movie buff (and pirate), so why not? Because it’s deeply unfunny, that’s why.
Brenda (username itsbrendabitch) has a Patron account, which is the highest paid tier membership for the site. It costs $49.99 per year. The account has logged 24 movies to date (all on May 28, to be precise) and each features a one-line review. Now, look, I’m not saying everyone on Letterboxd is Dave Barry (what a reference) nor that I’m humorist of the year. But what I am saying is that people promoting a comedy movie might want to come up with not the most obvious or old things about some of these movies.
The logs are a mix of older and newer movies, with the vast amount going to horror movies. Here are some of the “highlights” from Brenda’s reviews.
- Smile – “too much teeth”
- The Fugitive – “Idc what he says about being innocent, the husband always did it”
- The Ring – “Another little white girl fell down the well” (Some of that topical Baby Jessica humor. Baby Jessica, who is now 40 years old.)
- Weapons – “RUN KIDS RUN!!!”
- Sinners – “Two michael b jordans? This was a fantasy film for ME”
- M3GAN – “just take her batteries out damn!”
- Backrooms – “Just stop going in there wtf”
Okay, you get the idea. Incredibly route-one stuff here. It would surprise me if this realistically took the person in charge of making it more than 10 minutes total. Now, I’m aware Brenda as a character isn’t the most media savvy or deep person, but it speaks to the level of non-effort on display.
I will cop to chuckling at two entries. One was the movie Ma, to which Brenda wrote “her hair was on point.” Brenda’s look in the new movie is inspired by Octavia Spencer’s in Ma. The other was that each review of three Jackie Chan movies—Rush Hour, Shanghai Noon, and Rumble in the Bronx—was simply “I liked when he did a flip.”
I know this probably reads like Old Man Yelling at Clouds. But, I just get so tired of brands trying to be cool without any of the knowledge to back it up. It’s real “Hello, fellow kids” or “Pokemon Go to the polls!” energy. Your mileage may vary of course.
Scary Movie but the sixth one hits theaters this Friday, June 5.
Kyle Anderson is the Senior Editor for Nerdist. He hosts the weekly pop culture deep-dive podcast Laser Focus. You can find his film and TV reviews here. Follow him on Letterboxd.