We love ridiculous movie tie-in merch, don’t we folks? Not the usual toys, games, clothes, and posters. That’s expected. Funko POPs? Bo-ring! We want the wild, lavish, overpriced tat here, friends. The best, the creme de la creme of these kinds of things fit three specific criteria: 1. Enormous. 2. Unfathomably expensive. 3. For a movie that seems completely unsuited for such a thing. Today, we hit upon all three. You can now order a Nosferatu replica sarcophagus bed, with lid, for the low price of only $25,000.
This is shockingly huge. All closed up, including the base and lid, this baby is 97.75″ Length, 36″ Wide, 46.5″ High, and weighs 250 lbs. It comes with a custom fit mattress inside, so that’s nice at least. Look, Count Orlok is an ancient aristocrat. He’s not going to sleep in some wooden crate or shabby tin box. And while this replica isn’t brass or stone or whatever, it does look like it.
The official product detail is as follows:
For the best sleep of your life. A full-size replica Sarcophagus bed as featured in Robert Eggers’ Nosferatu. Hand crafted from premium materials including a wooden base with intricate carvings. These highly collectible Sarcophagi also feature a distinctive interior with a custom-fit mattress and foam lid for easy opening at sundown. Beds are made to order. Limited run. For more information email Nosferatu.bed@focusfeatures.com.
One thing I will say in favor of this outlandish bit of merch is that it definitely looks like the one you’ll see in Nosferatu. The sarcophagus of the undead count features prominently in a couple of sequences in the movie. One in particular is quite memorable. So you’ll be able to relive that, or give your guest room that funereal vibe we all know you want.
I’m willing to forgive this movie anything because I liked it so much. Austere gothic horror with a horny and gory streak is my favorite. So, sure, paying $2,256.46 per month for a year to have a full-size sleepable casket in your house is pretty weird. But hold off judging ’til you see the movie, naamean?
Nosferatu rises from the grave into theaters on Christmas Day.
Kyle Anderson is the Senior Editor for Nerdist. He hosts the weekly pop culture deep-dive podcast Laser Focus. You can find his film and TV reviews here. Follow him on Instagram and Letterboxd.
