No, This Dangerous Real-Life Protosaber Is Not For Sale

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Jedi Knights served as guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. They didn’t rely on a weapon as clumsy or random as a blaster, though. They used lightsabers, an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. Meanwhile, in this galaxy, we haven’t learned how to make them just yet. (We still haven’t even located any kyber crystals!) But a few years ago w e told you about the first-ever working protosaber, a weapon inspired by an earlier type of lightsaber. It uses an external power pack. That very real device was impossibly cool. It was also impossibly dangerous—which is why we promise that one of them is not really going up for sale soon.

And if you’re questioning whether this protosaber auction might actually be real, just check out the asking price for an opening bid.

Hacksmith Industries have heard for years how much people want to buy their protosaber. It’s easy to see why, even if it’s easy to see why no one should want one. It’s a portable battery pack, that you wear on your back, that produces a retractable beam of light. Or rather, a retractable beam of pure destructive heat. That is when the whole pack itself isn’t bursting into flame.

A member of Hacksmith Industries in a labn coat and goggle cuts through a mannequin wearing a Star Wars stormtrooper helmet using a working protosaber
Hacksmith Industries

Yeah, not exactly something you should be sell. But Hacksmith Industries has heard its fans demands and decided to answer them… with an April Fools’ Day prank.

They used the holiday to announce an auction for their protosaber. If the calendar wasn’t enough of a hint that a high-powered, highly-dangerous custom weapon is not something you just sell off willy nilly, the video promising a “lightsaber” should be. But even if that doesn’t make you totally sure the biggest clue is the “starting price.” They said bidding will open at $69,420. Yes, 69 thousand, 420 dollars.

Duuuude. Nice! Nice prank that is, even if it’s not the most civilized gag. Though, in fairness, this is the best prank they could pull off. They didn’t invent an actual lightsaber.

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