What if I told you it’s now possible to completely wash AND dry yourself in just 15 minutes? ….Oh, yeah, that’s right. We’ve been able to do that for a very, very long time. It’s called “taking a shower or bath and then drying off with towel.” You can actually do that in less than 15 minutes. But that doesn’t mean there’s no room for innovation in the field of personal hygiene. And in Japan they’ve rediscovered a luxurious way to get yourself squeaky clean in the most relaxing way possible. They just didn’t come up with a stylish name for their device, because the “Human Washing Machine” is far more elegant than it sounds.
It’s also just as absurd as you think.
Science Co., a showerhead making company out of Osaka, recently updated an old design. According to the Japanese newspaper The Asahi Shimbun, the Sanyo Electric Co. (now Panasonic Holdings Corp.) “caused a stir” at the 1970 Japan World Expo with its “human washing machine.” In a real shocker it didn’t catch on. Probably because “showers” already existed.
But Science Co. brought the idea back with its updated Mirai Ningen Sentakuki, which translates to “Human Washing Machine of the Future.” It looks like it comes from a high-end, futuristic spaceship. It’s more akin to an escape pod or fighter jet. But it’s really an enclosed bath crossed with a mini shower that partly fills with hot water. It also rinses your upper body with thin mist and employs tiny bubbles to get grime off. Sensors also measure your pulse and other biological data to make sure you’re comfortable. It even plays sooting music and videos while it washes you so you remain calm.
This is absolutely ridiculous. It’s a needlessly expensive, complex machine that is essentially a solution in search of a problem. It’s just a super fancy bath with a giant built-in Ipad.
And I must try it. I simply must sit inside the space pod bath that takes you to Relaxation City via a stop over in Hygiene Town. How can you see this and not want to try it?
Plus, this “Human Washing Machine” has one big advantage over a regular shower or bath. When I’m all done I won’t have to worry about cleaning a towel. They still haven’t made a machi…..oh, wait, no. No, they have that. It’s a regular washing machine.