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GIRL ON THE THIRD FLOOR Is Even Ghostly to Dogs
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Owning your own home is tricky. The market is very bad right now, and any house worth buying is either way out of your price range or in the middle of nowhere. Of course there’s always the fixer-upper. But renovating a place yourself takes a lot of time. And what if your house needs more work than you can do alone? It’s rough. And even if you decide all of that is worth it, there’s always the possibility your house is haunted. Like, supremely haunted. Just thank your lucky stars your house isn’t like the one in Girl on the Third Floor.

In the new film from Travis Stevens, Phil “C.M. Punk” Brooks buys a house in the suburbs with the intention of renovating it himself. He’s trying to prove to his wife (Trieste Kelly Dunn) he isn’t a screw-up. But with only his tools, his bare hands, and his German Shepherd, it’s a bigger job than he can handle. And that’s especially true because there’s some spooky-weird stuff in the house. Like, stuff oozes from the walls. And marbles too. And also there’s a phantom hot girl. It’s not super conducive to home repair.

As this exclusive clip of the movie shows, it’s not conducive to dogs having comfortable nights of sleep, either.

That phantom woman is Sarah (Sarah Brooks) who represents not only the sordid history of the house, but the temptation for all stupid, arrogant men to go astray. The movie ends up as a cautionary tale for husbands who may philander, and people thinking they’d rather buy than rent. Keep renting, folks. Then renovations and ghosts are someone else’s problem.

I got to see Girl on the Third Floor at Beyond Fest earlier this month, and I found it very effective, and with a deep thread of dark humor. It’s gross and weird and a very different take on the haunted house trope. It lulls you into a gentle rhythm of startles for the first half or so just to finally spring its trap. You know something bad’s coming, either supernatural or otherwise, but it takes a while. When you arrive, it’s probably not what you expect. This is a really fun, gleefully grotesque examination of the most insidious form of toxic masculinity and it’s got scares to spare. Seek this one out soon.

And if you’re a big fan of C.M. Punk, then you’ll want to see his triumphant return to Nerdist with a brand new special episode of Grammar Slam. Mr. Punk is a stickler for speaking and writing correctly and he’s ready to throw down when people get something wrong. For instance, when people don’t know the difference between “Loose” and “Lose” and why that matters. They’re different words, first of all.

Thank you for your service, good sir.

And be sure to check out Girl on the Third Floor, hitting theaters Friday, October 25. Just in time for the Halloweekend. (Can we call it that? I want to. Okay, it’s the Halloweekend.)

Featured Image: Dark Sky Films

Kyle Anderson is the Senior Editor for Nerdist. You can find his film and TV reviews here. Follow him on Twitter!