I ate a lot of Hot Pockets growing up. Actually, that’s not totally accurate. I ate an obscene amount of Hot Pockets in my youth. Not that I’m ashamed of that. They are easy to make and delicious, a perfect, quick food for an active young man. But even though I loved them, I eventually stopped eating them. They were destroying my stomach every time. Something about microwaving processed bread, meat, and cheese didn’t agree with me. Weird, right? So I can only imagine how long I’d be suffering if I consumed one of these giant Hot Pockets made by the YouTube channel HellthyJunkFood.
Especially because one of them is stuffed with White Castle sliders.
In what can only be described as the worst Jim Gaffigan fever dream ever, the latest Frankenstein concoction by JP and Julia of HellthyJunkfood are two massive, DIY Hot Pockets. Julia’s version is a mega take on a traditional pepperoni and cheese Hot Pocket with real dough. JP’s is not.
He went FULL junk/comfort. First he used Chef Boyardee dough, which is apparently a thing that really exists. He then stuffed it with Chef Boyardee tomato sauce, cheese sticks, Lunchables pepperoni, and six whole White Castle sliders. The result is both disgusting and strangely appetizing. What? I’d at least try it. Cheeseburger Hot Pockets are good. White Castle is good. Why wouldn’t they go well together? It’s all meat, cheese, and bread no matter what.
We also appreciate that they didn’t just make de facto calzones and call it a Hot Pocket. To really qualify these “ snacks” need to be reheated inside a little sleeve in the microwave, otherwise they aren’t fast and easy to make. It’s the same standard Claire of Bon Appétit held herself to when she made a gourmet version of the beloved snack.
I shouldn’t have watched any of these videos. Now I really want a Hot Pocket. But I don’t want a stomach ache.
Maybe I’ll just have a normal-sized one without any White Castle burgers.
Featured Image: HellthyJunkFood