The poet Keats once wrote, "Beauty is truth, truth beauty--that is all/Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know." Perhaps he wrote those lines for such an occasion. Even if he didn't, let's say he did, because a) he's been dead for almost two centuries so can't say much about it and b) the Chuck Tingle coloring book is surely more than worthy.
If you're not familiar with Chuck Tingle, his erotic ebooks count among our generation's most timely, cutting-edge romances. In 2015, at the height of the gold and white/blue and black dress controversy, he gave us Pounded by the Gay Color-Changing Dress, a story of forbidden love between a very buff man and a sentient dress with a strong sexual appetite. When Brexit rocked the UK and European Union in 2016, Chuck Tingle responded with Pounded by the Pound: Turned Gay by the Socioeconomic Implications of Britain Leaving the European Union. More recent entries include his take on the Trump administration's attitude toward media criticism, Fake News: Real Boners, which details a heated affair between a very buff man and a sexy unicorn who writes for the shock media site Buttbart.
Mr. Tingle has even risen to a challenge issued on @midnight by Nerdist's own Chris Hardwick, to come up with Hard For Hardwick: Pounded in the Butt by the Physical Manifestation Of My Own Handsome Late Night Comedy Show. And one should not neglect his extensive earlier bibliography of saurian-themed erotica, such as My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass, My Ass Is Haunted by the Gay Unicorn Colonel, and of course Space Raptor Butt Invasion. Truly, he is the hero we need.
Now, thanks to the Chuck Tingle coloring and activity book, you too can be part of the butt magic. Dr. Chuck Tingle's Adult Coloring And Activity Book For True Buckaroos, available now on Amazon, is full of extremely sexy (yet also oddly innocent) crosswords, mazes, puzzles, and coloring pages themed around his ever-growing body of literary work and supposed life story (which involves chocolate milk, martial arts, a Son Name of John, and a ghost in a lake).
It's the chance you've been waiting for to enhance these sensual news/dinosaur-themed stories with your own colorful flair. As the sales copy on Amazon says, "Color this book in a way that is uniquely you, because your way is the most special and important way of all." Can't wait to get on board!
What's your favorite Chuck Tingle story? How will you be coloring your sexy dinos? Tell us in the comments!
Images: Amazon/Chuck Tingle