Stories have the power to transport us anywhere at anytime. However, even the best, most immersive ones come with a major downside: they can’t actually fill our bellies. No matter how much we crave dishes we see in shows, movies, books, and video games, we’ll never get to eat them because they’re not actually real. If we could, which ones would we want to eat? To find out we ranked the 15 fictional foods we want served to us.
Note: We only considered dishes that either use a) fictional items or b) never provide a formal recipe/description so we can recreate ourselves. That’s why you won’t see any of Studio Ghibli‘s amazing meals or items like 30 Rock‘s Cheesy Blasters and Homer Simpson’s Moon Waffle.
15. The Broodwich (Aqua Teen Hunger Force)
If Master Shakes says this is “the best d*mn sandwich” he’s ever had, you know it’s good. If only we could get The Broodwich with bacon without being sentenced to an eternity of suffering in the Broodwich Dimension when we finish it. (Seriously, just skip both the sun-dried tomatoes and the free brain surgery and you’ll be fine.)
14. Churron (Broad City)
Considering cronuts lived up to the hype, the thought of a churro crossed with a macaron is enough to have us lining up before dawn on a Saturday. If only we could really do that for Broad City‘s churron, a colorful fictional take on a hip-new pastry fad.
13. Lickety Splits (Angry Beavers)
I do not know what that delectable tree goo inside a log of Lickety Splits is, but I do not care. All I know is no beaver was ever angry slurping up that sloppy mixture. Meanwhile not being able to try this myself will forever make me furious.
12. Reptar Bars (Rugrats)
“Chocolate, and nuts, and caramel, and green stuff?” Yeah, green stuff. What could that stuff that turns your tongue green actually be? I know what the real-world versions used, but those very different, non-canonical candies don’t count. All that counts is the mystery ingredient Rugrats teased us with. That’s the “stuff” I need, because I am green with envy I never will.
11. Meiloorun Fruit (Star Wars)
There are lots of fictional foods in the galaxy far, far away we’d love to nosh on, but none more so than Meiloorun fruit. That melon-like treat, a delectable on many worlds, was delicious enough Ezra Bridger risked the Empire’s wrath by stealing it from Imperial shipments. You must be one tasty fruit if the threat of treason isn’t enough to stop people from wanting you.
10. Brontosaurus Ribs (The Flintstones)
No living creature has dined on brontosaurus ribs for at least 145 million years. Yet there was Fred Flinstone enjoying them during his show’s theme song, mocking us with his gigantic order. I’d willingly tip my own car over just to try a few morsels of the best prehistoric barbecue ever put to screen.
9. Yovo Fruit (Avatar)
The amount of juice that shoots out of a Yovo fruit in Avatar is enough to make us travel across the universe. But it’s the noise Sully makes when eating one that really puts this over the top. His reaction to biting into a Yovo is guttural, as though he’s chewing on a piece of literal nirvana. Forget unobtanium, the whole movie should have been about humans trying to steal Pandora’s Yovo supply.
8. Roast Beast (How the Grinch Stole Christmas!)
Fictional meat good enough to serve in Whoville on Christmas is a fictional meat good enough to make our list. I’d swear off roast beef if I could sit down to a single roast beast meal. I wouldn’t even care if the Grinch did the carving. (Though that would be cool.)
7. Fruit From a Narnia Toffee Tree (The Chronicles of Narnia)
Normal toffee can be sublime. So how good do you think fruit from a toffee tree growing in a magical land created by a lion god tastes? Exactly. Exactly. And this is why Aslan is the best and Jadis the White Witch was the worst. Aslan provided toffee fruit. Jadis manipulated children with Turkish delight, a merely “okay” candy.
6. The “Grey Stuff” (Beauty and the Beast)
Has there ever been a better pitch for any food than a singing French candelabra describing a mystery foodstuff as “delicious” via a fully choreographed song and dance number performed by magical household items? No. There has not.
5. 1-Up Mushrooms (Super Mario Bros.)
Why so high? It’s a giant mushroom that grants you an extra life. Literally, if you eat one and then die you instantly come back as though nothing ever happened. This could be the worst-tasting fictional food in all of pop culture history and it wouldn’t matter. We could have so much fun(gi) if we could dine on a constant source of immortality.
4. Lembas Bread (The Lord of the Rings)
How did the elves of Middle-earth stay so fit and eternal? Was it because they’re magical beings closer to the light of Eru Ilúvatar than any dwarf, human, or hobbit? Maybe, but it might also have been the lembas bread. I don’t even care how good it tasted. Imagine the freedom of feeling full after just a few nibbles of anything.
3. Everlasting Gobstopper (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)
There are so many amazing desserts in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, it’s almost impossible to choose just one. We say “almost” because a delicious candy made by the world’s greatest confectioner that both lasts forever and is the course of international intrigue is too good to pass up. Every kid who has ever seen this movie wanted nothing more than than they wanted an everlasting gobstopper.
2. Krabby Patties (SpongeBob Squarepants)
How good are Krabby Patties? The vegetarian sea burger’s secret recipe has literally ruined Plankton’s entire life. Can you imagine how tasty something has to be to do that? Something so tasty that it drives someone to madness? It must taste like pure hope combined with raw spite on a bun.
1. Scooby Snacks (Scooby Doo)
Remember what it was like as a kid when you learned Santa Claus isn’t real? If someone ever definitively told me what goes into a Scooby Snack I’d feel the exact same way, only infinitely worse. Not knowing why Shaggy and everyone else loves Scooby Snacks, even though they look like dog treats, is a big reason they’re among the most iconic fictional foods ever.
