December 13 marks 35 years since one of the best comedies of all time hit theaters. While the multiple endings for the film were famously both an innovation and the cause of its poor box office performance as confused audiences didn’t know which theater to go to,
An unrivaled cast of comedy greats and a whodunit so good you
Miss Scarlet: Why has the car stopped?
Professor Plum: It’s frightened.
This is one of those jokes so sublime they get funnier the more you think about it. Paired with the squeaky windshield wipers, spooky mansion, and the looks on the actors’ faces, this early line helps set the tone for the dark comedy.
Colonel Mustard: Do you like Kipling, Miss Scarlet?
Miss Scarlet: Sure, I’ll eat anything.
Miss Scarlet is the queen of innuendo in
Colonel Mustard: Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?
Wadsworth: You don’t need any help from me, sir.
Colonel Mustard: That’s right!
Ah, Colonel Mustard. Unlike Miss Scarlet, there’s no deeper level to him. For all his blundering and bravado, Mustard is incredibly likable thanks to Martin Mull’s endearing performance.
Mrs. White: Husbands should be like Kleenex. Soft, strong, and disposable.
Even in a cast of comedy all-stars, Madeline Kahn is the stand-out member of the ensemble. She practically admits she killed off all of her five husbands and you
Mrs. Peacock: Everything all right?
Colonel Mustard: Yep, two corpses, everything’s fine.
Call it “big 2020 energy” or just completely absurd, but this one line is everything that makes
Wadsworth: I was in the hall. I know because I was there.
Once the recap of the evening begins, Tim Curry unleashes chaotic energy that doesn’t stop until the credits roll. He’s going to tell you who did it, with what, and where. Several times. If you listen closely to his explanations and watch the movie again, you’ll begin to notice who is missing from a room and other clues you might have not seen the first time.
Wadsworth: And to make a long story short—
All: Too late!
A repeat of an earlier gag, you won’t be able resist making the same joke every time someone utters this common phrase.
Miss Scarlet: That’s not six.
Wadsworth: One plus two plus two plus one.
This is one of the standout bits in the entire film. As Miss Scarlet and Wadsworth argue about the bullets in the gun you’ll find yourself laughing too hard to keep count along with them. Kudos to anyone who can spout the entire exchange correctly.
Mr. Green: There’s one thing I don’t understand.
Professor Plum: One thing?
This gag pops up in all three endings as the movie pokes fun at its own whirlwind of whodunits. In each big reveal, the bewildered guests try to make sense of a nonsensical night. Which ending is your favorite?
Mrs. White: I hated her so much. It.. the… flames. Flames, flames, on the side of my face…
This is it. This is the