While the inexorable rise of global warming may have you thinking we're living in an endless summer, fall is, in fact, right around the corner. With the arrival of autumn comes a veritable cornucopia of brand new movies, but with so many choices it can be paralyzing to figure out what's actually worth your while. You don't want to waste good popcorn on bad movies, after all. Thankfully, we've assembled a sprawling fall (and winter) movie guide to tell you about the very best films coming out over the next few months.
Goon: Last of the Enforcers
Image: Momentum Pictures
Seann William Scott's dimwitted but lovable bouncer-turned-bruiser Doug Glatt returns in a sequel to the 2011 cult sports comedy Goon to kick ass both on and off the ice. The foul-mouthed, violent comedy finds Doug trying to balance his home life after an injury leaves him sidelined with his burning desire to get back on the ice. With a cast of delightful weirdos, vulgar humor in spades, and compelling hockey action, this was worth the six-year wait.
Release date: September 1
Image: New Line Cinema
As Pennywise the Dancing Clown, Tim Curry scarred a generation of children in 1990's TV mini-series adaptation of Stephen King's It. Now a new generation of kids will have Pennywise to thank for thousands of dollars in therapy bills, courtesy of director Andy Muschietti's feature film reboot of It. The long-awaited horror flick looks absolutely terrifying with its creepy-cool mix of Stephen King and Stranger Things. Float on down to your local theater and make sure you bring a friend to hide behind.
Release date: September 8
Kingsman: The Golden Circle
After 2014's action comedy Kingsman: The Secret Service blew the bespoke slacks off of an unsuspecting public, people were clamoring for more. They wanted to know the answer to the most burning question of all time: did Brad Pitt eat that guy's sandwich? While some answers may never come, we do know that Eggsy (Taron Egerton) will be teaming up with the American Kingsman counterpart, the Statesman, to prevent Julianne Moore from destroying the world. No, not the actress--the character Julianne Moore is playing.
Release date: September 22
Blade Runner 2049
Image: Warner Bros.
Usually, I hope that longest delayed sequels to classic sci-fi films get lost in time, like tears in the rain, but I'm genuinely champing at the bit to see director Denis Villeneuve (Arrival, Sicario) team up with one of our greatest living cinematographers, Roger Deakins, to create a piece of slow-burn sci-fi that will expand on the wild world that Ridley Scott introduced us to back in 1982. Come for the ensemble cast that includes Harrison Ford, Ryan Gosling, Robin Wright, and Dave Bautista, but stay for Jared Leto finally playing himself and not a character.
Release date: October 6
Image: STX Entertainment
Since we're not getting a Rush Hour sequel and Brett Ratner refuses to respond to my many, many letters, we'll have to settle for the next best thing: a brutal revenge thriller starring Jackie Chan and Pierce Brosnan! In The Foreigner, Chan stars as a bereaved father on the hunt for his daughter's killers after she is caught in an explosion from an IRA bomb. Judging by the trailers, Chan continues to kick more ass at age 63 than most people half his age, which is worth the price of admission in and of itself.
Release date: October 13
Goodbye Christopher Robin
Image: Fox Searchlight
In Goodbye Christopher Robin, Domhnall Gleeson trades in destroying star systems and his non-canonical cat Millicent for the post-World War I struggle of creating characters that would stand the test of time. Gleeson stars as A.A. Milne, the author behind Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore, Piglet, and all the denizens of the Hundred Acre Wood. However, the truth behind their creation and the impact the sudden fame had on Milne's young son, whose toys served as the inspiration for the immortal characters, is far darker and more potentially exploitative that you ever realized.
Release date: October 13
Professor Marston and the Wonder Women
Image: Annapurna Pictures
Now that Wonder Woman is the highest grossing film of the summer, don't you want to know her origin story? I'm talking about the creation of her character by William Moulton Marston, the inventor of the lie detector test and, yes, Diana of Themyscira. The strange but true story reveals how Marston came to create Wonder Woman and the incredibly important role that Marston's wife and their lover--all of whom lived together--played in Diana's genesis.
Release date: October 27
If you told me in 2013 that after watching whatever the hell Thor: The Dark World was that one day a Thor movie would be one of my most anticipated films of the year, I would laugh in your face until you left the room. Then if you came back 15 minutes later to see if I was done laughing, I would keep laughing because that's how ridiculous that was to me. Anyway, times have changed and now Taika Waititi's cosmically weird Thor/Hulk team-up against Cate Blanchett serving As-goth-ian realness has me practically waterboarding myself with my own drool.
Release date: November 3
Image: Warner Bros.
After Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad, it's understandable if you're a little hesitant about Justice League. But if the prospect of seeing DC Comics' greatest heroes assembled together on the silver screen for the very first time doesn't send a quiver up your loins, then I guess I don't know you anymore. With tons of New Gods weirdness, some elbow grease from Joss Whedon, and Aquaman stabbing a guy midair with a trident then using his body like a fleshy skimboard, Justice League looks like it will finally deliver on the promise of the DCEU.
Release date: November 17
If you have a lot of pent-up emotion and have had trouble expressing it, let Pixar's Coco help get the waterworks flowing. The story of a boy with dreams of being a musician and his plucky dog who travel to the land of the dead to uncover the truth behind his family's legacy is guaranteed to make you feel something or your money back. (Please note: there is no legal way I can guarantee this.)
Release date: November 22
The Disaster Artist
This may sound like a prank, but I promise you that not only is James Franco starring as Tommy Wiseau in a movie directed by James Franco about the making of one of the best worst movies of all time, but it could well be an Oscar contender. The legend of the mythically troubled production of The Room must be told and this feature film adaptation of Greg Sestero's book seems like the perfect way to do it.
Release date: December 1
The Shape of Water
Image: Fox Searchlight
If I asked you to come up with the MOST Guillermo del Toro thing of all time, it would probably be The Shape of Water. This 1960s-set horror-romance about a mute janitor who falls in love with the mysterious fishman being held captive in the secretive government lab where she works oozes GDT from every pore. My only regret? They didn't call it The Creature from the Black Lugubrious. It was right there, Guillermo. Come on, man.
Release date: December 8
Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Do I really need to tell you to go see a new Star Wars movie? Probably not, but I'm going to anyway because Rian Johnson is the most exciting thing to happen to the Star Wars films since it was established that Max Rebo plays jizz music, and no that is not a typo.
Release date: December 15
And those are the new films coming out this fall and winter that we're most excited for! Stay tuned here for any potential updates, and let us know what films you're most pumped to see in the comments below.
Featured Image: Disney
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