Archer: 1999 will be the show’s tenth season when it debuts on May 29, and the third to take place in an alternate reality (thanks to Archer’s coma). And while the show is heading to space for an Alien-inspired adventure, there’s one thing we know won’t change – Archer’s drinking. He might be the world’s greatest spy, but he’s also the world’s biggest drunk. Fortunately he’s a cartoon so we don’t have to worry about whether or not he’s out of control and has a liver the size of Krieger’s head. In fact, his lushness always been one of the show’s best sources of comedy, so before Archer tries to mix a martini (gin, not vodka, obviously) in space, here are eight hilarious moments from the series that came from Archer getting drunk.
Archer Gets on the “No-Fly” List (Twice)
It’s hard to be a world class spy when you can’t actually travel around the world, which is what happened to Archer when he ended up on the “No-Fly” list after he demanded to “fly the plane” during a drunken stupor. That’s impressive, but only Archer would also end up on the “No-Train” list for the exact same reason.
Archer Mixes Up His Departure Time and Mixes Up Some Cocktails
We didn’t even know there were dangerous Nova Scotian terrorists, but we do know if you have to transport one back to Canada you probably shouldn’t be hammered when you do it. Of course that’s exactly what Archer did after getting his departure time wrong. It’s a great episode where Archer’s dream of fighting atop a train proves it’s not everything he hoped it would be.
Archer Meets the Kingsman
While not an official episode, Archer meeting Eggsy is still a dream crossover featuring two of our favorite international spies. And while the Kingsman can hold their liquor, they can’t hold a candle to Archer when it comes to knocking a few back, especially when he immediately knocks the whole bottle back.
The “Power Blackout”
Even when Sterling Archer is (relatively) sober, his drunken escapades are still a source of comedy. Case in point, when he gives us new ridiculous drinking terms, like the concept of a “power blackout,” all while on assignment in North Korea.
A “Lost” Passport
Losing your passport in a foreign country is a total nightmare. Getting blackout drunk in a Montreal casino, slurring your way through a speech about how you are never going back to America, and burning your passport at the craps table to prove it is one of the funniest things you can do.
A Huge Overreaction to a Terrible Margarita
If anyone knows how to make a proper margarita it’s Sterling Archer. And if anyone knows how to grossly overreact with a wildly (wildly) inappropriate comment when someone serves a bad one it’s also Sterling Archer.
A Mummy Looks for His Mommy
One of the biggest perils of spying when constantly blackout drunk is how vulnerable you are. Especially to your arch nemesis, an evil android whose life you ruined. At least all of those tiki drinks helped make Archer’s ride with Barry a lot more fun.
The Bloody Mary Prayer
Archer’s impromptu prayer to the drinking gods is one of the best alcohol-related scenes in show history. However, that never would have happened if Archer hadn’t gotten so drunk the night before and slept with Pam. Pam! Someone he once said he could never sleep with because the amount of alcohol it would take for him to do so would kill him. We’re glad he was wrong, because the entire start to this episode is an amazing warning against abusing alcohol.
Remember, in space, no one can hear you scream, so make sure you remember to bring plenty of mixers.
Could you actually get drunk in space? Planetary Protection Engineer Dr. Moo breaks down the science with Special Agent Sterling Archer (H. Jon Benjamin) on the premiere episode of our new series, Because Space!
Featured Image: FX
