Update 11/14/19: The newest trailer for Netflix’s action movie 6 Underground opens as a tourism commercial for Italy. Sweeping shots of Florence highlight the beauty of the city, as a narrator extols everything it has to offer. Then a car driven by Dave Franco nearly kills innocent bystanders while destroying priceless art treasures as it tries to evade its heavily-armed chasers. And during all of it Ryan Reynolds makes witty comments from the backseat. Ultimately it’s not an ideal ad for Italy, but it definitely works as an ad for people who love Michael Bay movies.
Every part of this trailer screams Michael Bay. It’s got insane action, ridiculous destruction of property, big movie stars, and a guy running down the Florence Cathedral. (Because why not, right?)
But hey, at least they didn’t kill those dogs. We’ll accept a lot in a Michael Bay movie, but that would be too much.
There’s not a lot of mystery surrounding any given Michael Bay-directed movie. You know it will be highly stylized, contain plenty of action sequences, feature more explosions than characterization or plot, and have enough quick edits to make you woozy. The only real question is whether it will be the good kind of Michael Bay movie (like The Rock or Armageddon) or the bad kind of Michael Bay movie (like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen or Pearl Harbor).
One way to ensure we get the good version is to cast Ryan Reynolds as the lead, like Bay did for his upcoming film on Netflix, 6 Underground. But based on the first trailer for the movie we’re not sure that will be enough, because what you think about the film will probably have more to do with how you feel about the idea of six individuals faking their own deaths so they can become a vigilante squad of international assassins. Of course that’s actually the premise of a Michael Bay movie in 2019.
“What’s the best part of being dead? It isn’t escaping your boss, your ex, or even erasing your criminal record. The best part about being dead…is the freedom. The freedom to fight the injustice and evil that lurk in our world without anyone or anything to slow you down or tell you ‘no.'”
If I had a nickel for how many times I asked myself, “What would it look like if you combined six Batmans, The Punisher, and the Suicide Squad with Steven Spielberg’s Munich?” I would have zero nickels, because I’m not insane. Also, is this covertly a direct sequel to the John Travolta/Halle Berry/Hugh Jackman movie Swordfish that no one remembers except for me? (Google the ending of Swordfish to get that not-totally-a-joke joke.)
In fairness, Michael Bay does know how to make an entertaining action movie. The problem is he also knows how to make a bad one too. At least Netflix knows exactly what about the movie will appeal to audiences. Here’s the official tagline the streaming site released with the trailer: “Ryan Reynolds, Michael Bay and a metric f💥ck-load of dynamite.”
They didn’t have to mention the dynamite. It’s a Michael Bay movie. We know. We always know.
Also starring Mélanie Laurent, Corey Hawkins, Adria Arjona, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Ben Hardy, Lior Raz, Payman Maadi, and Dave Franco, and written by Deadpool‘s Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese, 6 Underground comes to Netflix on December 13.
Featured Image: Netflix