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Look at This Giant Cow From Australia! LOOK AT IT!

Look at This Giant Cow From Australia! LOOK AT IT!

“Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy, if a cow ever got the chance he’d eat you and everyone you care about!”

For years we’ve laughed at Troy McClure’s ridiculous warning about the danger of cows, but today we feel like Grade-A morons because we clearly underestimated the threat those seemingly benign creatures pose. That is at least when it comes to one specific bovine, because this giant cow from Australia looks like it can devour us like a human steak cooked rare.

Think we’re exaggerating? Look at it standing next to normal sized cows. LOOK AT IT!

……How is that real? Did it fall into a vat of toxic waste or something? Did it escape from Newt Scamander’s case?

PerthNow reports that the seven-year-old giant named Knickers stands over six-feet, three-inches tall and weighs in at a whopping 1.4 tons, making it unofficially the biggest cow in Australia. Yes, “unofficially,” raising the terrifying possibility there’s an even bigger one of these things running around the continent.

While a cow this big is unsettling, we are happy to say it’s ideal for Knickers. His owner Geoff Pearson, a third generation cattle farmer who bought him for $400 to lead the herd as a “coach,” said the cow’s size saved him from the slaughterhouse because he was too heavy to get through the facility. “So I think it will just live happily ever after,” Pearson said.

Good for Knickers….so long as he doesn’t eat us and everyone we care about.

Would you be scared if you saw a cow this big in person? Or are we milking its size a little too much? Tell us in the comments below.

Featured Image: KAMR Local 4 News

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