The long-awaited third season of Adult Swim's animated sci-fit hit Rick and Morty is coming along... eventually.
As co-creator Dan Harmon has said, he and Justin Roiland are taking a bit longer to write the show this time around for reasons not entirely understood to them. We don't have a release date yet, but we have just gotten something to help hold us over a little: a faux website for the show's Galactic Federation that tells us a few things about what to expect in the upcoming season.
The website appears to have been created for the purpose of getting Earth-residing humans to sign up for a mandatory MyFederation Rewards card, which gives users "biometric installation," "complimentary monitoring," and mandates that they "surrender your rights to privacy and waive all individual rights as dictated in the Gluub Agreement, Habeas Corpus, Hongy Bongy, and the Blobbadobo Accords."
The site is filled with Easter egg-type information, like this tidbit that discerning users can learn without clicking a thing: The b-roll video playing at the top of the site features a clip of cars in a traffic jam. Just before the clip transitions into another, there's a road sign, the readable text of which says "...CHITZ NEXT EXIT." Good news, Earthlings: It looks like the ultra-fun Blips and Chitz arcade is expanding to your planet, so you'll no longer have to leave the planet for a good round of Roy!
The only exception we have with the entire site is the fact that it refers to the version of Earth the show mainly takes place as "Earth C-137." C-137 is definitely the dimension Rick and Morty are from, but they left that dimension in the episode "Rick Potion No. 9," after all the planet's people (save for Jerry, Beth, and Summer) were turned into Cronenbergs. The dimension that C-137 Rick and Morty continued their lives in is never identified alphanumerically, so it appears this is a small factual inaccuracy with the show's lore.
Once you click to register for a rewards card, you're taken to a login page that quickly glitches out, and instead of registering for an account, you're given access to a Gromflomites's feed on fedconnect.galacticfederation.com, which features social media musings ("How are your hatchlings doing, G-6060842?") and blog posts ("Lifehack: How to Catch All of Earth’s Hottest Diseases"). Interestingly, the top of the page reads, "ACCESS LEVEL OMEGA - WELCOME Fr33R1CK5455," meaning that perhaps the glitching out that led to this page was perpetrated by Rick or a Rick sympathizer.
This part of the site is mostly fun fanservice, although there is significant background information about an event that was alluded to in the second season finale: The Battle of Blood Ridge, where Rick, Birdperson, and other allies squared off against the Galactic Federation’s Gromflomite army.
The battle (the description of which, keep in mind, may be canon, but is written from the perspective of the Gromflomites) was horrific. One Gromflomite veteran described Rick's actions thusly: "Almost immediately Rick Sanchez comes up and rips the body from my arms, takes off his pants, and then proceeds to rub his human lower danglers all over the soldier’s dying face.” Yup, he was tea-bagging everybody.
The post ends by saying, "Any Galactic Federation citizens on Earth that would like to honor Blood Ridge vets are encouraged to attend the Remembrance Parade in the Lil Glapflaps neighborhood of what humans used to call San Diego," and fans have speculated that perhaps this means the third season won't premiere until after 2017's San Diego Comic Con, which in 2016 took place in July.
The site also features a prisoner database, and while we were hoping this would have interesting information about Rick, it really doesn't, as his profile doesn't say anything we don't already know: He's a human from Earth wanted for "everything."
That's about all we learned from the Galactic Federation's website, but that doesn't mean it's not fun to click through for yourself, so check it out here, and let us know if we missed anything (and if your hu'aaaig sliders came out alright).
Images: Adult Swim