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Imagine this scenario: That really cool mug that you bought is sitting near the edge of the table; precarious, sure, but what’s the worst that could happen? Your cat approaches.
We all know where this is going – sweeping up tiny little shards of your heart when your cat pushes the mug off the table just to watch it shatter then smugly staring at you as if to ask “When’s dinner?” Animals are jerks. Don’t get me wrong. We love the little buggers, but animals love to add as much chaos and destruction to your life as they can. Don’t believe me? Check out the fuzzy fury that is unleashed in these 5 video games:
Catlateral Damage
Mugs aren’t the only thing on a cat’s hit list. If there is something that hasn’t been knocked over, you can bet your cat intends to rectify the situation pronto.
In Catlateral Damage you control the paws of a kitty-cat bent on the eradication of all things not currently on the floor. Like some sort of furry tornado, the cat must wreck as many things as they can before their human comes home to witness the chaos. You have your choice of over 20 adorable yet treacherous felines to play as and a ton of achievements to unlock for being a master of introducing gravity to various household objects. Cat’s may have a reputation for being jerks, but they are not the only animals that hold contempt for humanity and all its trappings.
Goat Simulator
Want to know what gives a goat ultimate satisfaction in life? Gleefully racking up useless points by annihilating everything in its path. Goat Simulator is a highly irreverent game that celebrates the ridiculousness of a goat using its own tongue as a means of propulsion. In the game, you are a nameless goat who, free of the shackles of farm society, has gone on a rampage through the countryside. To wreck havoc you can headbutt pretty much anything or wrap your unfortunately long, dangling tongue around your victims and/or objects and drag them into troubling situations. Goat Simulator plays out like a demented goat’s fantasy of becoming a four-legged wrecking-ball.
Wreckoons
As we all know raccoons are natures little trash pandas and in Wreckoons nothing can get in between you and your target: garbage.
Not much is known about the mysterious Wreckoons as this game is still in-development, but there are a ton of videos on the developer’s twitter that illustrate just how much trouble these little Wreck-It Raccoons can get into. They’ve got everything from crashing a wedding to stuff your face with ill-gotten cake to flailing about with a colander on your head while being chased by a security guard. Wreckoons promises to be as absurd as it is delightful and we can’t wait for it to be released.
I may use my computer skills to help humanity one day. In the meantime, I’m working on this –> pic.twitter.com/SOrQNbxtAW
— PunchesBears ㅎ㉨ㅎ (@punchesbears) May 11, 2017
Donut County
If you want a game you can play right now about a raccoon ruckus, check out Donut County. The raccoon in question, B.K. doesn’t get his paws dirty destroying of public property directly. Instead, he uses a remote control hole to swallow up the city all so he can earn himself a flying drone. B.K. doesn’t really get that people might prefer not to be dropped 999′ into a hole, but his coworker is there to knock some sense into him. Enough, at least, to convince him to send his holes after the biggest jerk of them all: the raccoon king!
The Untitled Goose Game
Less mysterious, but just as adorably calamitous, The Untitled Goose Game presents you with a disgruntled goose who shall have their revenge against all mankind (or at least the people in this quaint little village). Created by House House, the development studio behind Push Me Pull You, The Untitled Goose Game gives you a chance to hassle humans by honking up a storm, stealing lunches, hats, and anything else that isn’t nailed down, and generally being a pest. The goose has a well-written to-do list that you’ll get to cross off as you antagonize the villagers by puzzling out how to use your environment to manipulate the humans into humiliating themselves for your entertainment. Easier said than done when you don’t have hands, but this goose is a mad genius. Keep an eye out in 2019 for whenThe Untitled Goose Game releases.
Cats, goats, raccoons, and geese are just a few of the animals in video games that prove the wild kingdom is full of jerks. Which video game cataclysm causing critters do you like? Let us know in the comments below and be sure to tune into Game Engine on Twitch and Alpha for more video game goodness every Tuesday starting at 4PM PT.
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Hailing from New York, Jessica Fisher is a writer, artist, and all around geek. In addition to Geek & Sundry, she writes for Gameosity.com and produces the Gameosity Reviews Youtube Channel. Find her talking about all things geeky on Twitter as @miniktty.
Image Credits: Fire Hose Games, Coffee Stain Studios, Punches Bears, Annapurna Interactive, House House