UPDATE: Our brief national nightmare is over; the goats have been captured.
Turns out they weren’t a well-organized army of killer animals on the hunt, but rather a professional weed-clearing herd that had broken free.
Unless that’s what they want us to think.
8/3/18 – This is not a drill! Repeat: This is not a drill! Right now (on the morning of Aug. 3) something that is equal parts bizarre, terrifying, and delightful is happening. Years from now, we’ll all either look back on it as one of the funniest stories we have ever covered, or we simply won’t be around to remember it because this is, in fact, the beginning of the end for all humanity that we’re presently witnessing.
As we speak, 100 goats are roaming the streets of Boise, Idaho… and no one has any freaking idea why.
KTVB reporter Joe Parris shared these amazing photos from a neighborhood in Boise, upon which a flock of goats has mysteriously descended. Parris says the goats are going from house to house “eating everything in sight,” which could mean an angry goat rancher is enacting some sort of insane revenge, they simply broke free of their pen and followed their gastrointestinal instincts, or the goats have organized and we are all doomed!
Look at all those goats! Why are there so many goats?!
He also shared this video, which we demand the internet immediately start setting to various horror movie theme songs so we can start mentally preparing for the nightmare world we might now be living in.
I can’t be the only one thinking of that old Simpsons PSA about how a cow would kill you and everyone you love, right?
We assume this story will end up with a logical explanation, and we will one day look back and laugh about the time some vengeful goat herder had his day in the sun. But just in case: godspeed to the people of Boise, and to all of us.
What do you think this is about? Tell us in the comments below.
Featured Image: Disney