The Walking Dead has featured a litany of impressive weapons, from found artillery, re-purposed sporting equipment, the undead themselves, and even a rehabilitated zoo animal. But what is the best? After all, what makes a good weapon, especially in the post-apocalyptic world, isn’t just a solid, deadly implement. It’s not even just the skill used to wield said item. What makes a truly badass, deadly, and effective piece of weaponry when walkers roam the earth is also the fear behind the weapon. Sure, a walker won’t care what you’re carrying, but you need a weapon that can both eliminate threats and discourage future attacks. So that’s how we ranked these weapons: effectiveness, the skill of the weapon wielder, and intimidation. Let’s begin!
10. Eugene’s Fire Hose
There is very little about Eugene that is intimidating. From his gentle voice to his stylin’ Tennessee Tophat, you’re not gonna be too freaked out about Eugene taking you out. Still, his idea to use a fire hose to take out walkers was ingenious. Might not be terribly intimidating, but it’s surprisingly effective. Plus we’ll give the guy some points for creativity.
9. Rick’s Revolver
You can’t think of Rick Grimes without picturing him holding his trusty revolver. However, it’s only been in the recent seasons that Rick has truly gotten comfortable using it as a means of protection and intimidation to both walker threats and human threats. Though these days, Rick is far more deadly when wielding his machete or his ax, Rick’s revolver will always be classic, deadly Rick Grimes weaponry.
8. Carol’s Knives
Carol has a very unassuming demeanor. She’s got a delicate frame and a sweet smile that can make you feel safe. But the truth of Carol is that she’s a deadly fighter who could take you out in your sleep and not bat an eye—and her weapon of choice shows that. While Carol is good with a gun or a machete, she has a particular skill for knives. Of course a knife is no match for a gun, but when Carol’s on her game, you likely won’t know she’s got a knife on you until its far too late to do something about it.
7. Daryl’s Crossbow
What makes Daryl’s crossbow such a strong weapon is that it’s more than just a bow and arrow in the hands of a skilled archer–they’re the tools of a talented hunter and tracker who is not quick to surrender or let an enemy off the hook easily. Daryl’s crossbow is certainly a deadly weapon, but whenever we see it wielded by someone other than Daryl, it seems to lose a bit of its magical properties. It seems that what really makes that crossbow intimidating isn’t so much the weapon as Daryl Dixon himself.
6. Shane’s Shotgun
A shotgun is a deadly firearm regardless of the marksmanship of the person firing. However, Shane just so happens to be an excellent shot, which makes his shotgun incredibly effective. Pair that with his before-his-time world view of doing whatever it takes and taking out whoever needed taking out in order to survive, and you’ve got a true, intimidating threat. Someone that ruthless wielding such a powerful weapon makes Shane’s shotgun a force to be reckoned with.
5. Merle’s Knife-Arm
I’m sorry, but can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t be scared to death if a man with crazy eyes came barreling at you with a literal knife-arm? This is the definition of making lemonade out of the lemon-filled situation of being forced to chop your own hand off. Merle gets loads of extra points here for deadly style and lethal originality by turning himself into a weapon. Plus, without even having to raise his arm, Merle’s mere presence is threatening, which is pretty damn badass.
4. Michonne’s Katana
Straight up, Michonne can kill just about anyone or anything with her katana before you’d know what happened. A katana is a tough weapon to wield successfully, but she’s go the skills to gracefully use her sword. Plus, she knows how to make sure she’s an intimidating presence when up against an enemy. Michonne isn’t afraid to use her sword against a walker or another human, and she makes her decision to act so quickly that her enemies don’t often have the time to react.
3. Negan’s Lucille
I’m not going to give spoilers from the season premiere, but that episode showed us first hand how much damage a seemingly low-key weapon like a barbed wire baseball bat can be. Lucille isn’t just a weapon though–She’s a symbol. A symbol of Negan’s power, his brutality, and the choke hold he has over the communities under him. That’s what makes it so very deadly and terrifying. It’s more than just a weapon, but it’s almost a blunt extension of Negan himself.
2. Ezekiel’s Tiger
Okay, so we just met Ezekiel and Shiva, so we don’t know Shiva’s nature…
…but she’s a damn tiger, guys. A giant, real tiger. She’s super effective.
1. The Governor’s Tank
Okay, Lucille is scary and brutal, but the Governor had a tank. A whole tank. Yeah, it’s pretty frightening to watch a man smash in your friend’s head with a barb-wire baseball bat, but do you know what else is frightening? Seeing an eye-patched crazy man roll up on your house in the big ass tank. I don’t care who you are, all of these other weapons are truly deadly and intimidating, but a crazy eye-patched nutter with a super villain name like The Governor in a tank is gonna be the thing you run from the most quickly, every time.
What do you think of the list? Which weapons do you think are the deadliest and most intimidating? Tell us what you think in the comments!
Feature Image: AMC
Learn more about Ezekiel and his cool-ass tiger!
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