Pretty much all of us who call ourselves nerds love Star Wars to some degree—but there are some of us out there who really love Star Wars. And I don't just mean love it in a "you had alone time with a picture of Carrie Fisher in a metal bikini back in eighth grade" kind of way. I mean you're Jedisexual, literally turned on by all things Star Wars. Now, thanks to io9, we've learned of a company called Geeky Sex Toys who is capitalizing on the Star Wars sex fetish, and they are making exactly what their company name implies.
The company recently unleashed a new line of Star Wars-themed sex toys, ranging from butt plugs to dildos to bondage gear. There are lightsaber vibrators—a no brainer—as well as some Dark Side of the Force bondage gear, for whenever you want to play out "Fifty Shades of Rey."
A long time ago, in a fantasy far far away.... STAR TOYS! Available now! https://t.co/qAK6moJIoU We've spent many many moons working on these products and are absolutely thrilled with the final results. Go check em' out! #handsolo #darthvibrator pic.twitter.com/m0VakOG1Fg
— Geeky Sex Toys (@Geeky_Sex_Toys) December 4, 2017
Ok, so I made up the word “Jedisexual” just now, and it probably won’t stick, but someone needs to make a name for it. Because clearly there is a demographic of people who think nothing is hotter than Darth Vader’s shiny polished helmet.
For all you bot enthusiasts (we see you Kyle Hill), there are a C-3PO butt plug and Yoda dildo. And the girth of that Yoda dildo? It looks bigger than that cane he carries around. So much for "size matters not."
We are not sure how any of this is actually legal, because these are definitely images of Han Solo and Darth Vader on these things, so if you're thinking of getting them for Christmas for that special someone in your life, I would get them soon, before Disney institutes Order 66 on this company, so we never see a Han Solo in Carbonite fleshlight again.
What do you think of these Star Wars sex toys? And what other geeky properties do you think need to get made next? Sound off in the comments below.
KEEP THE FORCE STRONG WITH MORE STAR WARS STORIES!
- The Last Jedi has an alien version of Carrie Fisher’s dog.
- Laura Dern tells BB-8 how much she loves him.
- Learn all about the Unknown Regions.
Images: Geeky Sex Toys / Lucasfilm