Schools are closed, parks are shuttered, and responsible people everywhere are social distancing. Which means parents are now “on” 24-hours a day, seven days a week. And they will be for the foreseeable future. Even just thinking about that kind of never-ending responsibility makes us tired, so we have no idea how moms and dads are coping. Our guess? With alcohol. But why should a nice cocktail only help them cope with the stress of dealing with their kids when it could also deal with their children for them? That’s what Saturday Night Live suggested during it’s season 45 finale. Because the song “Let Kids Drink” is the quarantine solution we’re sure at least some people are considering.
Even though it is definitely/absolutely/unquestionably a bad idea. Probably.
“Let Kids Drink” is the SNL cast’s uncommon common sense solution for parents during COVID-19. While we’re all social distancing, they propose a special rule that lowers the legal drinking age to “any.” Just give kids a couple sips to help them relax and sleep. Or like one White Claw. Maybe half a six-pack. Look, we’re not sure how much is the right amount? (Note: ZERO IS THE RIGHT AMOUNT.) But giving kids booze must be safe. Child Services and Olaf both said it was okay.
…..No, wait. No, Child Services did not say it was okay. Uh, Josh Gad is probably going to be hearing from Disney.
Funny, “Vodka, Soda, Lime” is actually one of our favorite bedtime stories.
But really, what’s the worst that could happen if we let kids drink? Children across America turn into the Beck Bennett depicted in the sketch?
Oh, crap, yeah, that’s exactly the problem. COVID-19 or not, we can’t let children consume alcohol. Sorry parents. But hey! The good news is you can still drink it yourself.
Featured Image: NBC