Guys: Rick and Morty is coming back so soon. The second episode of the third season premieres on July 30, and we can't wait. We're getting so impatient, in fact, that instead of waiting to actually find out what the upcoming episodes will be about, we decided to flex our speculation muscles and try to predict what the Sanchez clan will get up to, or at least get a general feel for it.
We know the titles of the first six episodes of the season (and have confirmed them with Adult Swim), so based mainly on that, let's imagine what might happen in Season 3:
1. "The Rickshank Rickdemption"
This one's easy, since we've all seen it already. The Galactic Federation has taken over Earth, Rick takes the federation on a trip through his (false) memories, he does some simple math to render the federation's currency worthless and make them leave Earth, Beth chooses Rick over Jerry, and perhaps most importantly, Rick rants to Morty that finding McDonald's Szechuan Sauce is the new primary motivation of his life. Oh, and in the post-credits scene, Birdperson has come back as a cyborg named Phoenix Person.
2. "Rickmancing the Stone"
This is the episode that airs on the 30th, and guess what? We've already seen it, so get ready for some SPOILERS. As the family comes to terms with the divorce, Summer wants to distract herself with a random adventure with Rick, so he obliges. Of course, that's where it goes nuts: They go off on a Mad Max-like adventure, Morty gets a Thunderdome champion arm, Summer falls for a cannibal leader, and a whole bunch of stuff. Read our more in-depth summary of the episode here.
3. "Pickle Rick"
IT'S PICKLE RICK! This isn't an episode we've seen yet, so this is our first bit of actual predicting. Then again, we've already laughed our fannies off at Pickle Rick the character, so we can't wait for this episode. That's even considering the fact that Pickle Rick can't move without Morty turning him over, but we've also seen images of Pickle Rick in action fighting rats and it looks like he's made some sort of Frankensteinian body for himself, so who knows what happens. Maybe he turned himself into Pickle Rick in some food-related effort to get closer to his dream of having Szechuan Sauce again? He's seen running away from some suited agents, so whatever mess he's gotten into, it's a big one.
4. "Vindicators 3: The Return of Worldender"
We saw Rick and Morty teaming up with some sort of superhero team in the Season 3 trailer, in which they're also "called to assemble by the Vindicators" via a glowing crystal in Rick's garage, so it seems like a reasonable leap to say that this team is the Vindicators, and perhaps the giant monster swinging on a meat hook that's also in the trailer is Worldender.
5. "The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy"
In some circles, "whirly dirly" refers to a type of kissing, so hear us out with this really reaching bit of conjecture: Somehow, DNA from Rick and Morty finds its way into the wrong hands (via a kiss, perhaps), which results in the green, snot-looking clones of our two heroes. A lot of powerful people want to see Rick dead, so one of them discovering the ability to clone them and send these green facsimiles after them isn't too outlandish, especially considering how off the wall this show often gets.
6. "Rest and Ricklaxation"
This might be the Jerry-heavy episode teased in the trailer, in which Rick and his soon-to-be-former son-in-law spend some time together; perhaps Rick feels bad for a depressed Jerry and takes pity on him with a fun day out, which includes an intense roller coaster ride. We also see Jerry in some peril on a strange planet, so it would seem that their adventure goes wrong.
That's our best guess at what the first six episodes of Rick and Morty's third season hold. Do you think our guesses are even close? What do you think is going to happen? Speculate along with us in the comments below!
Featured image: Adult Swim