Open Letter To Every Girl Who Has Been Called Daria

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Dear ‘Girl Who Has Been Called Daria’ :

Welcome! (Note: don’t use exclamation points.) You’re now the member of an esteemed club. But you probably don’t like clubs. So never mind…it’s not a club. Let’s just say that we are like-minded people with a dry sense of humor and monotone voice. Welcome.

You’re probably a loner so being a member of this “club” isn’t at all appealing to you. You’re not “social” and you don’t conform to whatever “societal standards” are. Not ever.

So no one can classify you as a “Daria” or a “Jane” or a “Brittany”. I apologize for even trying to identify with you right now. But you wouldn’t ever apologize because you’re right and I’m wrong.

You’re a pretty awesome person by the way. Not like you care that I’m saying that because you really couldn’t care less about what others think of you. Just ignore me. 

That’s another thing: you’re totally calm, cool and collected. Whether your sister is being superficial or your parents are ignoring your needs (or just your existence in general), you simply respond with a sarcastic quip. It rolls right off of you. Nothing sticks.

Your sarcasm is sharp and you offend people without even realizing it. That’s ok. They really need to toughen up so actually you’re helping them with some self-improvement. They’re shallow and focusing on things that don’t really matter. At least that’s what you say to their face.

But I just want to let you know that you’re not perfect either. You have faults. Honestly, you’re kind of judgmental and think you’re better than others.

I think we can both admit that your attitude and sarcasm are a defense mechanism to protect yourself from getting hurt. Your blasé attitude towards everything keeps people at a distance. You’re emotionally withdrawn, which keeps you isolated and unable to maintain close relationships.

But whatever. You probably didn’t even read this.

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