He's survived T. rexes, been unfazed by Thor, and stopped an alien invasion with his laptop, but what Jeff Goldblum truly finds alarming is the spice level of the chicken wings that the YouTube show Hot Ones compels him to consume while answering questions. To be fair, he's not supposed to eat spicy food at all, per his "voice doctor," if he's to continue singing in a jazz band. So watch below as he nibbles nervously—a nervous Goldblum is a talkative Goldblum. And a talkative Goldblum is like the freeform jazz of celebrity interviews.
Yes, as the video's title suggests, he likes to be called Daddy...mainly because he is in fact a father. But many other fabulous secrets are revealed, including the fact that he's never had a cavity, he can kinda-sorta impersonate Bill Clinton, he can absolutely impersonate a particular scat riff that Danny Kaye was famous for, he used to love chipped ham with barbecue sauce, and he gets the lyrics wrong to The Greatest American Hero theme.
Also, if you never heard of the TV show Tenspeed and Brown Shoe, you're going to want to look that up. We'll start you off right here:
Why, oh why, did that only rate 14 episodes? Because fate had bigger plans for The Goldblum, obviously. Had that show been renewed, you might not be watching him blast his throat with Scovilles right now. And that would just be humanity's great loss.
What was your favorite Jeff Goldblum revelation in this video? Be sure to let us know what you think in comments.
Image: YouTube/First We Feast