South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut is, somehow, 20 years old. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman’s only big screen foray came to theaters on June 30, 1999, accompanied by one of the crassest, funniest, best soundtracks of all time. It’s so good some of the movie’s songs have been stuck in our heads for two decades, and we’re not upset about that. To honor the animated classic’s anniversary, here’s every song in the movie ranked.
WARNING: These songs are super ****ing NSFW.
Honorable Mention
We’re not including two reprises from the film: “The Mole’s Reprise,” which is just a brief callback to “La Resistance,” and “Mountain Town (Reprise),” which is essentially the same song as the opening number. We’re also leaving out “What Would Brian Boitano Do? Pt. II” and “Eyes of a Child” by Michael McDonald, since they are only heard during the end credits. Both of those would rank very high if we included them.
12. “I Can Change”
Probably the only “bad” song in the entire film, Saddam Hussein’s musical plea to his boyfriend Satan isn’t terrible so much as its boring. The music isn’t especially interesting, and the lyrics aren’t nearly as funny as the rest of the movie. This is the only track in the film we just want to end so we can move on to the good stuff.
11. “Hell Isn’t Good”
Metallica’s James Hetfield chips in on this very short thrash metal number that goes to show just how good this soundtrack is when this comes in second to last. But it’s just too short, and while it works perfectly in the film it’s not really a musical number. Still love it though.
10. “Wendy’s Song (There’s the Girl That I Like)”
Stan’s sweet little love song, maybe the most earnest and sincere track in the entire movie, pops up throughout the film, usually right before he throws up on Wendy. It’s a nice little track that perfectly serves its purpose in the movie.
9. “I’m Super”
One of the most likable characters in South Park history gets his very own show-stopping musical number that wouldn’t look out of place on a Las Vegas stage, but is much funnier at a USO show. It’s a real toe-tapper with a clever premise and lyrics, and we’re all in by the end.
8. “Blame Canada”
It didn’t take long for this list to get into the truly great section of the Oscar-nominated soundtrack. The “safest” song from the movie that the Academy decided could be performed during the telecast (despite still having some R-rated language), this group singalong was an instant classic for good reason.
7. “It’s Easy, MMMKay”
Mr. Mackey’s totally ludicrous attempt to get the children of South Park to stop swearing would rank high even if it didn’t have any of its great lyrics. It’s a fantastic, super catchy song that’s fun to sing along to while also being hysterical.
6. “Up There”
Satan gets arguably the most beautiful song in the entire movie, because of course he does. This is powerful, touching, and so genuinely good it could easily be plopped into a serious Broadway musical without having to change anything about it. This should have been a radio hit…this year.
5. “Uncle F***a”
Trey Parker and Matt Stone didn’t waste anytime letting audiences know exactly what they were in for with this movie. Terence and Phillip’s song, featuring maybe the most vulgar lyrics in movie history and fart solos, heard early in the film set the ****ing tone immediately. It’s also utterly fantastic and a total earworm, which is a problem when you live in a normal society.
4. “Kyle’s Mom’s a B****”
Yes, this was a retread from the TV series. No, it doesn’t matter. The extended international section is amazing, making it funnier and more epic than the original. It also fits into the movie perfectly, and with its insanely catchy music we’ll be humming it to ourselves for another 20 years at least.
3. “Mountain Town”
The movie’s first song (which gets a great reprise at the end) is a fantastic opening number for a musical. It’s sweet, harmonious, and still manages to be funny thanks to the definitely not-happy people who keep interjecting and lyrics that are among the most subtly hilarious in the movie. We’re suckers for musical numbers that make us feel happy, and “Mountain Town” definitely does that.
2. “La Resistance”
This tribute to Les Miserables’ “One Day More” stands on its own as an amazing song, and it’s maybe the best example of Stone and Parker’s skills as songwriters in the entire movie. It weaves in different tracks from throughout the film into one hysterical, epic singalong that works as the climax of the entire soundtrack. Ask us tomorrow to re-rank them and we might have it number one.
1. “What Would Brian Boitano Do?”
A totally absurd premise, absolutely hilarious lyrics, and a kickass sound all combine for a memorable track we have never stopped singing (seriously). We know what Brian Boitano would do: he’d rank this number one, even after 20 years, and so do we.
Featured Image: Comedy Central Films
