Snugglelord here, for all your meta playlist needs. I was surprised when Geek & Sundry reached out to me for an unbeknownst to them lengthy playlist given that Vox Machina has still not asked me to join them on their escapades. I get it. Whatever Mercer. Maybe this was their way of redirecting the matter and kudos to the idea; I love talking about myself and listening to songs about myself (Thanks to Alex Niedt.)
Zac Eubank – Snugglelord’s Playlist
White Unicorn – Wolfmother
I, Snugglelord, (hope you are comfortable with 3rd person representation) hail from a land of beautiful if not vapid tieflings. I found myself bored with the power and status bestowed to me. I had impregnated all who could be impregnated, tortured all that could be tortured, condescended all who could be condescended. Boring. I am a humble White Unicorn dreaming of a world with purpose.
The Prophet’s Song – Queen
In a flash of genius I, Snugglelord, saw an opportunity for a better life presented before him. A benevolent god, The Cha Throom, spoke to me of a life with purpose. A chance to follow in his/her footsteps spreading their truth across the world. I would be his prophet. His sole confidant in creating a more subservient world. He/she also promised treasures further than the eye could see to help convince people to fall in line.
Bad::Better – Fine Times
Now more than ever I, Snugglelord, had a reason to accomplish something. Much like Jaden Smith, I had found myself presented with luxuries at a very young age and had very little respect for the world around me. Once as a small lad, I sewed together my very own unicorn onesie. It was the first thing I had ever done for myself and I chose to wear this onesie even as an adult to remind myself of the joy I received from a personal accomplishment. It had nothing to do with my entitlement. I now knew that my onsie could be more than just a piece of clothing. I could be more than a rich tiefling with no parents, I could be a symbol.
Witch Doctor – De Staat
I, Snugglelord, traveled from town to town spreading the good if not somewhat aggressive word of The Cha Throom. Much to my surprise many chose to ignore me, to push me aside as if I was selling me cheap fan fiction. How could they deny my lord? In one town, I found myself confronted by a mob and if not for my cunning I fear I could have lost my life. I knew it was time to find myself some bodyguards.
Dum Dee Dum – Keys N Krates
I, Snugglelord, found my bodyguards.
Fire Water Burn – The Bloodhound Gang
Not long after meeting my bodyguards I, Snugglelord, had a small…incident involving a house, a horse, a door, and a fire. Our methods may be crude, but you can not deny their effectiveness. I could feel a disturbance in the town and we chose to help these poor people, to free them from their oppressor showing them the true light and way of the world; The Cha Throom. It had nothing to do with money.
Blood Music – Deadboy & The Elephantmen
I, Snugglelord, found myself grasped by the throat from some sort of rock monster. My bodyguards have proven to be useless. Salty Pete seemed to think the cave’s muddy floor was a great place for his face. The actual song playing through my head in this moment was actually “Stop I’m Already Dead” from Deadboy & The Elephantmen, but the Cha Throom informed me of a show by the name of iZombie uses it as their theme song, and I refuse to like anything that is now accepted as cool by the popular culture. This one is pretty good too.
Keep Your Lips Sealed – The Do
I, Snugglelord, try with all my might to keep my bodyguards from speaking out of turn. Especially when money and people’s lives are on the line. They often disrespect lord Cha Throom in front of would be sheep, I mean loyal followers. Though at the end of this first venture we came away from the experience pretty well off.
Soul Makossa – Yolanda Be Cool, DCup
We got that money, and we spent that money. Imagine if you will I, Snugglelord, and my rag tag crew of dumb-dumbs slow motion jump cutting between close- ups of mead pouring slowly down our faces, groups of voluptuous ladies rubbing our hairy chests, dwarves sniffing ground coco root, basically Zack Snyder and Hype Williams teamed up to direct our celebration.
Creator – Santigold
Cha Throom became upset with I, Snugglelord, and demanded I return to my mission. Cha Throom had become almost hostile, speaking in a voice so loud that all those in our party could hear.
Divisionary (Do The Right Thing) – Ages and Ages
We met up with another group of simpletons in some small podunk backwater town. We had to return a captive to some creepy old man. In the process of accepting, this mission a small monk child was taken into the group under the arm tutelage of Ulfgar. An absolutely terrible idea and I, Snugglelord, knew it would be best for the group to leave the small child in a ditch somewhere. In these moments, I like to sing this mantra to myself as a constant reminder to do the right thing, not listen to my conscience, and ditch the entire party.
Dancing In The Corner – Monarchy
Unbeknownst to the party I, Snugglelord, cracked under the pressure being constantly inflicted upon me by The Cha Throom and I ingested some Baccaran. This gave me the confidence I needed to give zero f***s. I could now go on accepting the word given from The Mighty Cha Throom and put up with the ongoing ignorance that surrounded me. It’s effects were short lived given my impeccable physique/ immune system but it was the confidence boost I needed in the moment. It could not have prepared me for the gifts the Cha Throom had in store for me.
Ambling Alp – Yeasayer
I, Snugglelord, decided to put aside my problems with children and inspired Ulfgar’s son to level up to level 9. At least, that is how The Cha Throom described it to me and I am not one to question the word of the lord.
Romantic Rights – Death From Above 1979
In a fash of brilliant light, The All Mighty Cha Throom appeared to I, Snugglelord, with what I can only imagine was a gift for my faithful servitude; Princess Ryco. She was a dream come true, everything that was right in this miserable world wrapped up inside this body of perfection. I fell to one knee and immediately promised my eternity to her.
Big Girl’s Vogue – Etta Bond
The Cha Throom works in mysterious ways for not long after presenting I, Snugglelord, with the love of my life he/she with a flash of light transformed my my entire body into the opposite sex. I found myself entranced with this new body of mine, ready to take on the world, ready to take on myself. Sadly, Princess Ryco did not seem as impressed with this new body of mine. I only hoped that her heart would be able to look past something as trivial as gender.
Bad Girls – M.I.A
Despite the incompetence of our party, we came out of our big battle victorious. I, Snugglelord, was slightly upset that my Lord Cha Throom rewarded mere simpletons with vast displays of power. I never thought my lord could troll me in such a way. I, Snugglelord, had led myself to believe I was his/her sole prophet and that Cha Throom would have my best interest in their omnipotent heart. This revelation changed things in me, after the slow motion walk away from the massive fire Salty Patricia lit up of course.
Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole – Martha Wainwright
Princess Ryco and I, Snugglelord, made it off with the entire reward leaving the simpletons behind. After opening a joint bank account; I, Snugglelord, caught Princess Ryco fornicating with a bear-like elf man. After murdering the ignorant beast with a fireball, the Princess cleared our bank account leaving behind only a note saying she had found me unattractive since my god given sex change. This is as good as any angry break up song, it would also be in bad taste to post an entire Taylor Swift album.
Salad Days – Mac Demarco
After grieving over the loss of the love of my life I, Snugglelord, tapped back into my kingdom’s fortune and headed to the edge of the kingdom where I would spend the rest of my tiefling days in solitude watching the tides roll in.
Diamond Mouth – Ta-ku
Cancel all that. Apparently I had done something to upset the all powerful Cha Throom and half of my adventure were merely a lie. I, Snugglelord, awoke on the ground bleeding from the back of my head as a small child and Ulfgar made off with my satchel. His deep laughter mixed with that of a small child’s glee is a sound that will haunt me to the end of my days. Why Cha Throom? Why would you forsaken me this way? Salty Pete could only shrug and walk the other way. I am left on the street bleeding, alone, a product of my own actions. If there was a lesson to be had, it is lost on me.
Slap Slap Slap Pound Up Down Slap – The Death Set
Consider this the Vox Moronica theme song. The tune the Good, the Bad, and the Nubly could be heard singing across the lands in those good old days. Salty Pete and Ulfgar had some sort of dwarven ritual handshake, I wasn’t upset that they didn’t want to show it to me as it would have been difficult to achieve from the height of my horse.
Thank You – Sly and The Family Stone
To all those that embarked on this journey with me, that laughed, that cried, that snorted, or sharted; I want to thank you all for letting me be myself.
The End – The Autumns
This may be the end of this chapter but it is not the end of the story. Thank you all for embarking on this more meta than you know journey. It’s been a wild ride.
Featured image credit: Meghan LeVaughn