The sandwich is such an ideal meal because it’s so easy to make, right? It basically involves two moves: slapping and spreading. But even these simplest of tasks are a big ask for Simone Giertz’s latest thoroughly craptastic machine, the “Sandwich Robot.” Heavy emphasis on the quotation marks around the name because this bot is more incompetent than Zapp Brannigan in battle, or Big Head from Silicon Valley trying to code something.Giertz, known widely as the Queen of Shitty Robots (she should really have something like the Iron Throne, but forged with discarded robot limbs), is joined by a friend—Fiona—to help bring this latest creation to life. Even with a “puppeteer,” however, this (thankfully plastic) knife attached to a motorized arm is astonishingly ineffective.
And although the “Sandwich Robot” can’t get half of Sandwich 101 down, it does manage to get peanut butter everywhere—but on the bread—and generate quite a bit of laughter and good times in the process. So maybe, in some way, it’s kind of like a small child that you invite to make a sandwich, and you don’t need to share with it, so it’s even better!
If you’re impressed by the crappiness of this robot, you should be, as Giertz has been honing her skills as a builder of droids to avoid for some time now. Among her other hilariously awful creations are a machine that tell haters to deal with it, a comment assistant (that actually seems pretty useful in terms of arguing online), and a hair-washing device that is guaranteed to give you a hand in the shower (watch the video to understand that amazing pun).
This “Sandwich Robot” really takes the cake in terms of crappiness, though—which sparks an idea! Maybe it would do better as a cake cutter. Or maybe it would be too heartbreaking to watch a delicious cake fall on the floor.
It would also be heartbreaking if you had thoughts about this video, and didn’t share them with us in the comments below!
Images: Simone Giertz