Critical Role is Geek & Sundry’s live Dungeons & Dragons show, featuring Dungeon Master Matthew Mercer and his troupe of fellow voice actors. Catch them every Thursday night at 7:00 PM PT on the Geek & Sundry Twitch channel and on Alpha.
Every week on Critical Role, the audience is treated to side-splitting humor and brilliant puns from the cast.
These are not those jokes.
If you’ve ever wanted to experience Vicious Mockery in real life, there is a chance you might lose some hit points from how bad these jokes are. Enjoy, and share your own in the comments!
Critical Role “Dad” Jokes
How is the new adventuring party like the Borg?
They are seven of Nein.
What happens when Frumpkin drinks a healing potion?
He goes cat-a-tonic.
The joke above—and this entire list!—were inspired by brimleydower in Twitch chat during Critical Role’s March 8 livestream.
What is Frumpkin’s favorite kind of cat food?
Nein Lives.
How many adventurers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Nein. They don’t have electricity in Wildemount!
What do you call the ribbon in Beauregard’s hair?
A Tie-Beau.
What do you call it when the Mighty Nein’s warlock makes a pact with a patron?
A Fjord Fusion.
Why did Jester wrap the goblin girl in ribbons?
She wanted to tie the Nott.
“Mollymauk, are you sure you’re the type to be a blood hunter?”
“Oh, positive.”
What is Caleb’s favorite kind of literature?
Dirty magazines.
WANT MORE CRITICAL ROLE?
- Download the previous week’s adventures on the Critical Role podcast every Thursday.
- Don’t miss the second campaign of Critical Role, live on Alpha and Twitch Thursdays at 7:00 PM Pacific.
Featured Image: Clifton Evans (http://tootsoup.tumblr.com)
Comic: Aviv Or (Upto4Players)