When done right haunted house stories evoke not only terror but real pathos. They’re not merely tales about ghosts meant to scare audiences. They’re heartfelt examinations of our pasts and our fears, life and death, family and love. But when done wrong, they feel stiflingly repetitive. Because as a genre, haunted houses tend to follow the same general beats. And those scary tropes are the inspiration behind this funny parody video. It tackles the elements you’ll find in most movies set it spooky homes.
Alasdair Beckett-King’s “Every Haunted House Movie” short, which we first saw at Laughing Squid, combines the most common components of nightmare homes into one super haunted house tale. This includes the bad father who moves his family to an isolated locale. A grieving mother—who inexplicably has an English accent—who won’t let her husband run from their tragic past. A strange omens of death, sketchy paranormal investigators, and a mortgage that is already impossible to get out of it. This trailer has everything.
Of course, it also includes a warning to not Google the real people the story is based on. Seriously, don’t do that. It usually makes it impossible to suspend your disbelief when you watch the films they inspire.
Alasdair Beckett-King
We can’t sign off on every aspect of this video, though. Definitely don’t pass up a gorgeous home that is “suspiciously cheap” because someone murdered his whole family there. Even if you know it’s haunted. Or that it sits on a portal to Hell. Modern day home prices are too outrageous to skip a good deal. Sure, maybe an evil nun lived there. But it’s not like her evil spirit will eat your food or use your water. Sure, she might haunt you until you kill your own family. But that’s just a chance you have to take.
Haunted houses are scary. Even if they often rely on the same tired old tropes. But at least ghosts help bring down a home’s terrifying price tag.
