How do you take your pizza? No, really, be specific. In fact, just point it out on this awesome pie chart 40 different types of pizzas while we change our dinner plans for the next few weeks while we work our way through all of them. You know….for like, research….for science…or whatever.
The folks at FoodBeast alerted us to this chart made by the Food Republic, with the many different (and often weird) kinds of pizza, and you’re not going to believe this but we have some very strong (some might even say disproportionate considering the subject matter at hand) reactions to it.
- Pizza: pizza is good, in fact pizza is great. It’s good sober, drunk, hungover, tired, hungry, peckish, after work, at work, at 3:00 a.m.–pizza is just very versatile and will always be there for you no matter where you are in life.
- French bread pizza: yeah, even if we always burn the roof of our mouth because we don’t wait for it to cool down, French bread pizza is underrated, because it’s totally awesome. More places should sell it so we don’t have to be beholden to the Stouffer’s French bread pizza monopoly.
- White pizza: you’d think removing one of the three main ingredients from pizza would make it bad, but bianca style pizza is the world’s best cheesy bread.
- Toppings: make of a pizza what you want. Pizza isn’t pretentious, pizza is the food of the proletariat, and damn it we deserve to eat things the way we want to eat them.
- Salad pizza: this should be listed as a war crime.
- Fish on pizza: when I said have pizza the way you want it I didn’t mean anything goes. You still need to think about flavor profiles, and fish and melted cheese is a very hard combo to pull off, so just avoid it rather than risk spoiling the pizza. (Tuna and sweet corn pizza should be erased from the history books.)
- Calzone and stromboli: those aren’t pizzas. What in the living hell are they doing on this list? If you think calzone is a pizza you probably think a hot dog is a sandwich and you’re getting added to the big list of people to keep an eye on. Without rules we have chaos.
- Baked ziti pizza: what…..what am I supposed to do with this? How much more bread and sauce needs to be added to pizza? This is topping a pizza with a messy pizza.
- Cauliflower crust: wait….what? I love cauliflower, but lets respect the integrity of the pie, okay.
- Scottish pizza crunch: that’s not real, right? If it is I must have it now.
- Pizza cone: This is out of control. We might need an official pizza commission to regulate this stuff.
The only one we can all agree is truly terrible and not even really pizza is Chicago deep dish.
Kidding! Kidding, I love some deep dish, dislike some, but man, you cannot have a reasonable conversation about Chicago’s addition to the pizza world. People lose their damn minds on both the pro and con side of deep dish. You’d be better off bringing up Cap v Tony if you want a pleasant dinner topic.
You can see the full-sized chart in our gallery below.
Okay, pizza is good, but tell us which one is your favorite by slicing up our comments section with your thoughts.
Images: Food Republic