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Episode 145: You Made It Weird
Jeff Garlin

You Made It Weird #145: Jeff Garlin

Jeff Garlin makes it weird!

Listen to Jeff’s podcast!

Follow @peteholmes on Twitter and Like the show on Facebook. Buy YMIW shirts and Pete’s album “Impregnated with Wonder”!

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  1. ubernerd says:

    goodnight nurse!

  2. ubernerd says:

    your opinion of the console war is severely outdated and wrong! playstation is the best! besides bluray they have the exclusives, and a friendlier user base as far as online interactions. i assume you just bought the xbox for Halo. 

  3. choy says:

    Anyone able to find that clip of Jeff on Oprah? Not sure what to search for if it’s not obviously an Oprah clip…

  4. Zane says:

    Bands better when they were on drugs:
    Jane’s Addiction
    Pink Floyd
    Alice In Chains
    The Beatles
    I am sure there are many more, but I’m too high to remember them right now. 😛

  5. blonde moustache says:

    crissspiest outro ive ever heard man

  6. Clagatrix says:

    This might be my favorite epsiode too.

    But I’ve only listened to like 3 so….

    But no, I loved the interruptions! It made going back to forgotten things so much more satisfying cause your like OH YEAH! The epiphany! But also made me dubious about the only smoking pot once every 5 years. That episode made me feel stoned lol

  7. kasper says:


    No, its by G. dep
    But Shine is a murderer too, so that doesn’t help. . .

  8. sal says:

    @kasper….crispy song is by Kinfolk Ka Shine, not g.dep

  9. LSchdt says:

    loved it! but pete, you really are so uninformed. come on! how is joseph the same as joshua. you even went to christian college.

  10. Maya says:

    With all the talk of the attraction of female body parts, i thought this theory from a Professor at Emory—was apropos:

  11. OLD LADY says:

    Maybe I’m old… but MOLLY RINGWALD would be AWESOME on YMIW!!!! GIRL TALK!

  12. jamison says:

    ON THE RECORD: This is my favorite episode of the show…ever

  13. Gorm says:

    This was easily one of my favourite ep’s.
    Ending with that outro over “Hold the Line” was pure magic.
    Hugs to the both of yous.

  14. James says:

    wow, no breaking bad reference for multiple Bob Odenkirk references.

    I admire the restraint!

  15. kasper says:

    Hey Pete – love the show. But there’s one very minor bit that irks me. G.Dep who made the crispy ‘theme’ has been committed of murder and although I’m a huge fan of his music, it’s just ‘sad’ being ‘reminded’ about that when listening to such a positive show.

    Remain peculiar 🙂

  16. icewater says:

    Good god that was exhausting. But good listening.

  17. John g. says:

    Atheism is not about ego for most atheists. I agree that Ricky Gervais is probably motivated at least in part by ego, and so are some others. It’s a bigger ego to say that there’s a supreme being, or higher power, that created the universe just for human beings. Now, that’s ego.

    Also, I never understand when religious people say that it’s arrogant to say you’re sure there is no god, that no one knows for sure, so you can’t say for sure that there is or isn’t. Most of those people don’t believe in fairies or vampires or Zeus or Ra. They don’t think that maybe vampires and fairies are real, and it’s arrogant to think anyone could know either way. It’s the same thing with the tooth fairy, aliens, the healing power of crystals, etc. If there’s no reason to believe in something, most people say it isn’t real, except when it comes to people who were raised with religion.

    That’s why I think Dawkins is on to something when he suggests that children should not be forced into religious education at a young age. I think it plants something in your brain when you’re exposed to it early. I think that it’s nearly impossible to get rid of, and makes it very hard for you to accept that there is no god, even when you accept easily that there is no tooth fairy. I wasn’t raised religious, and it’s not hard at all for me to imagine a world without a god. There’s absolutely no evidence that there is a god, and the world and the universe is completely explainable without one. So, it does not appear arrogant or ego-led to say as much.

  18. thefireballking says:

    Pete, I love the competing childish laugh riots you and your guests always have. You really illicit unabashed joy.

  19. Mario says:

    I can’t believe no one has mentioned the bleep. I want to know what that was about!

  20. Cal says:

    Three people have said it well already, but I will throw my perspective out there, too. As an atheist (lower case “a”), I think there are two general types of atheists: There are Anti-theists, who will tell spiritual folk not only that they are wrong, but why they are wrong, and try to convince them to convert. And then there are Atheists, who you probably wouldn’t realize are atheists until you asked them, and maybe not even then, because in many areas atheism is at least frowned upon. I am an Atheist, and am happy with you having your belief as long as 1) You don’t try to convert me, and 2) It makes you less likely. not more likely, to stab me.

  21. Dave says:

    Pete. Thank You.

  22. Sassypoopines says:

    First time I’ve ever screamed out, “Dorothy Parker! It’s Dorothy Parker!Dorthy Parks! Dooooroothy Paaarkerrrrr!” I felt like I had literary Tourette’s.

  23. Chester says:

    Well, that was tough to get through…

  24. Joe Bridges says:

    Glad to know there are more Yussels out there..

  25. Patty Marvel says:

    @Pete Holmes – RE: Hammer Films. There’s even a song about the studio’s output of scary movies called “Hammer Horror” by The Goddess Herself Kate Bush: Enjoy the music. Enjoy her cleavage. Enjoy both.

    Now, as for “cock sucker,” I agree that it’s meant to be offensive because you’re saying the person is passive or a “bottom” or at least not one who would dominate, but what do I know? I happen to think giving AND receiving “mouth love” is pretty awesome. I LOVE hearing my sweetie so pleasured that English becomes a second language! Three cheers for reciprocal head!

    @Gibbelstein and bastien – First of all, thank you for speaking of atheists in such a respectful manner. As a semi-out atheist (out to most friends, MAYBE three co-workers and NONE of my blood relatives), the measured tone is definitely appreciated. The short explanation I give religious folks is that I watch the news too much to believe there’s a god of any sort looking out for us. For the record, I’m not a “militant atheist” who tries to convert others to my way of thinking because I understand the APPEAL of believing SOME sort of higher power has a handle on this crazy world. I’ve a friend who embraced Islam a year ago and a nephew who is a die-hard Christian, and I would be sad if they lost their faiths because my friend is clearly happier and my nephew had a crappy childhood. Whatever gets them through the night is alright by me.

    One thing I’d disagree with Pete on is that, if pressed, the atheist would say there is an iota of a chance there is a god. That wouldn’t work with me because of what that iota of a chance would imply. I do not, I CAN not live and function in a world thinking there’s the slightest chance of a “lifeguard god” who will dive in to help a team win the Super Bowl but stands idly by while twenty children are murdered in Sandy Hook or over a hundred people are maimed in Boston. That sort of deity brings to my mind a line from “Watchmen” where Rorschach says, “The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout ‘Save us!’… and I’ll look down and whisper ‘No.’”

  26. bastien says:

    Now, as for why the term “cock sucker” is offensive. It most definitely is, because otherwise it wouldn’t be used as an insult.

    But WHY it’s offensive is the key part. It’s offensive because you’re implying that anyone who might perform that sex act is therefor weak or inferior. So it’s inherently both homophobic/transphobic and misogynistic.

    Think about why using the term “bitch” is offensive: because a bitch is a term for a female dog. It’s both implying that a person is more effeminate and therefor inferior, and that they are also sub-human and therefor inferior.

    Likewise, using the term “cock sucker” implies not only that the sex act is bad or wrong in some way, but also that anyone who performs it is a lesser human.

    Remember, using terms like these has a lot more social ramifications than just the amount of people who tell you it offended them. It tells everyone who hears it that it’s OK to see the people the terms refer to as inferior.

  27. bastien says:

    There’s no single kind of atheist, just as there’s no single kind of monotheism.

    While I’m sure there is a kind of atheism that is ego-driven (thinking something along the lines of “humans are great because we made ourselves”), I’d say that the capital-G God-based religions are more inherently ego-driven (thinking “humans are great because we were specifically picked to be great by God”).

    Pete referenced it several times in this episode, the Jewish people are colloquially known as “Chosen”, as in God specifically chose them to be his favorite. I’d say there’s far more ego involved in a belief like that. It’s saying that God, the all powerful being, specifically picked us, therefor we alone are special. And Christianity and Islam each have their version of that. It’s saying that humanity as a whole is the most special species in the universe, and then going further to say that specific humans are the MOST most special. That’s pure ego, and historically can be quite a dangerous point of view.

    But of course there are other religions, and even religious people from the big three, that don’t think like that. Ones that have a humbleness and a humility to say that while they may be special as a species or even as a race, that means they’re lucky rather than entitled. And further more means that even though they may be special, that still doesn’t mean they’re better than the others. So there are religions and religious sects that aren’t ego-driven.

    And likewise, there a differing types of atheists. But atheism at its core, and especially the more scientific atheism, is NOT about saying there is no God. It’s about saying there is a lack of evidence for the existence of a God.

    Because science itself is not about definitively saying no to an idea, it’s about admitting that we don’t know the answer to a given question, so therefor we will try to find it out. Scientists don’t go about trying to prove that a higher power doesn’t exist, scientists go about proving what DOES exist and working from there. And I think that’s how most non-agnostic atheists feel.

    But that’s the difference between faith and belief. Faith (religion) is when you accept that something is true without question. Belief is when you accept something is true because all signs and evidence points to it being the most likely and logical answer.

    So for the most part, atheism is not ego, it’s just the only thing that makes sense. Because while science never DISPROVES the existence of a higher power, what’s more telling is that science never proves that one DOES exist.

  28. matt says:

    I think its so funny that this is the second time Pete hasn’t known Andrew McCarthy.

    i didn’t know who he was either…

  29. Rob says:

    1:36 (24) “you want the requite,” was perfectly juxtaposed to curb Jeff’s vulnerability. Bravo, Pete. That’s also what’s great about Jeff — everything is said in earnest.

  30. lol says:

    Jeff Garlin is ever so excited to talk about himself.

  31. Gibbelstein says:

    Most of the people who answer the God question seem to be suffering from a kind of availability heuristic. It’s not that ALL atheists are “in your face and rude about it” but that the people who are in your face and rude are the ones you hear from most often and the ones that stick out most in your mind. There are plenty of atheists who are capable of keeping it to themselves. To extend it a bit further, I wonder if we *choose* to see it this way because when you are already per-disposed to believing in SOME version of god, it becomes easier to, even unconsciously, write them off as extremists so that we don’t have to reconsider our existing position.

  32. laura says:

    Can you puhlease end every episode with ‘Hold the Line’ playing in the background? Great episode!!

    P.S. Plants don’t have a central nervous system and are not sentient. Also, vegetarians and vegans actually eat LESS plants that our omnivorous friends)
    (due to the inefficacy of feeding plants to animals and then eating the animals, instead of going straight to the source)

  33. Ian Brill says:

    Maybe the best episode of the show. Certainly the best ending of the show. Hold the line!

  34. Coleman says:

    No great albums came from drug use? Think again, Mr. Garlin.

  35. Awesome ep Pete! BTW, Totally just added “Nice Try, The Devil” to your Wikipedia. My first ever additions to the totally accurate wikisphere.

    *Distant lifeless chanting* All hail the wikisphere…

  36. ericmci says:

    Now Pete- Let’s just say that I am a fan of the show.
    Too many things to list that I like about it.
    But- and I am Not trying to -marshal your fun-
    But abbreviating everything to the point that most of your guests constantly ask you- “what?” is getting on my nerves
    “Mad Mun” “Donny Drapes” – “I do my res (earch)
    I DO MY -RES?!
    Come on man- just tone it down a bit.

  37. ItsAlrightPodcast says:

    1 hr 30min in–test boners & hugs n stuff…this is one of the reasons I want this show to go on forever!! PH, keep bringing the fun and I’ll keep bringing the girly-giggles

  38. Cargile says:

    Pete, I want to do a written interview of you and your show.

  39. Frank says:

    If you have talent and know somebody, you’re lucky.

  40. Tzvi says:

    back-up nurse, great podcast!

  41. JimHall says:

    @Kyle – Pete is why I listen to the show. About 50% of the time I’ve never even heard of the guest before, but I am always interested in what Pete has to say. He is the show’s only constant!

  42. Kevin says:

    @Kyle-There are several thousand podcasts that aren’t hosted by Pete. So if you don’t want to hear Pete talk, don’t listen to the one that he hosts. I for one, find him hilarious and enjoy his interruptions.

  43. Kyle says:

    Wow… this was very hard to listen to with all the interruptions. Pete loves to tell his guests about himself. Just let Jeff talk.

  44. melf melfman says:

    bonobos promo: pete does lazers, bonobos does blazers. great adam west jeffy gee

  45. Mccrackelz says:

    How did you? when di-? never mind, this is an awesome get!