close menu
Episode 104: You Made It Weird
Kurt Metzger

You Made It Weird #104: Kurt Metzger

Kurt Metzger was so great on the live YMIW in NYC Pete had to grab him for a full one-on-one before he left and this is the hilarious and weird result. Kurt (Comedy Central, Ugly Americans) is one of Pete’s favs (no surprise there) and after this, he’s probably for sure gonna be one of yours too. GET INTO IT, WEIRDOS!!

Follow @peteholmez on Twitter and Like the show on Facebook. Buy YMIW shirts and Pete’s album “Impregnated with Wonder”!

This episode is brought to you by!

Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero in THE DARK KNIGHT Interrogation Scene

Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero in THE DARK KNIGHT Interrogation Scene


Toto's "Africa" Gets a '50s-Style Cover from Postmodern Jukebox

What Are Captain Marvel's Superpowers?

What Are Captain Marvel's Superpowers?



  1. Jeff says:

    @Pete I believe you might be thinking of Jimmy “The Greek” Snyder who made this comment,
    “The black is a better athlete to begin with because he’s been bred to be that way, because of his high thighs and big thighs that goes up into his back, and they can jump higher and run faster because of their bigger thighs and he’s bred to be the better athlete because this goes back all the way to the Civil War when during the slave trade … the slave owner would breed his big black to his big woman so that he could have a big black kid …”
    They did a 30 for 30 on him called The Legend of Jimmy the Greek which is a pretty interesting watch.

  2. Karl says:

    Holy Mackeral, this board went from 0 to meltdown pretty quickly. I feel like were at the end of Lord of the Flies when the pilot comes to the island and all of the kids are forced to look at themselves. We’re just a bunch Weirdos on the internet, right?

    Kurt, my girl and I think you’re great. I’ll check your site, but hope you’ll be in Chicago soon, though i have a feeling we just missed you.

    Be good all.

  3. mary says:

    Comedians – They’re Just Like Us!

  4. kurt metzger says:

    How about I have been spending a silly amount of time on a podcast comments page because I will literally do anything besides some work I’m being paid for?

  5. tzvi says:

    No at its core, PC was a concept brought up by Trotsky to describe the way in which the “Party” decides what language is correct or incorrect and then uses harassment to goad people into following the party line as the correct one. Hence its name.

    However, a lot of the time that the term is used, like by Rush Limbaugh and his cronies, it is trying to stomp on people asking others to be considerate. This in of itself is a form of P.C. Ironically the republican party (not to be confused with republicans in general which are wide in varied in there interests and perspectives), is far better at using the Trotskian tool of P.C. to shape political thought. For example many of us Americans erroneously believe that the revolutionary war was fought in opposition to taxes, which is false it was fought against taxes without representation which we have in this country. Christians pretending to be an oppressed minority is another example of this form of PC, they use it as a tool to claim they can’t be criticized. The Dems do the same thing (not to be confused with liberals), when they knee-jerk respond to oppressive language without listening to what is being said. Comedians do the same thing when they whine about ‘offended’ or ‘p.c.’ as a kneejerk response rather than listening to see if the person is asking them to be considerate or telling them what to do.

    Further unlike bret, kurt made some good points and some bad ones but either way is clearly thinking. Finally Kurt you do believe you’re responsible for what you say, don’t bullshit us. If you don’t believe that what you say transforms people, then you don’t believe what you say takes people from not laughing to laughing. It does, and you do believe that. If you didn’t believe what you say transforms culture you wouldn’t use that skill of transforming people from laughing to not laughing to laughing to rail against P.C. You do believe that, and so you are taking responsibility, so why is it to much to ask you and other comedians to use your ability to transform people in the resistance of oppression in all its forms including P.C. Personally I got the feeling that was in fact what you where doing, but you kind of hide that in the way you defend yourself.

  6. Mark says:

    I haven’t read through this full thread yet, but I’d like to chime in with a quick summary of my thoughts on the matter.

    At its core, political correctness is *supposed* to be about promoting empathy for others and an understanding of your own place in the world (including privileges and disadvantages), not about policing words/ideas. IMHO, It’s possible to be “PC” and still talk about taboo issues or say things that are, on the surface, offensive; the difference is what is informing your comedy.

    A concrete example, though a bit hack at this point: Louis CK has plenty of bits about race and gender and drops red-alert terms like “faggot” or “nigger” or “cunt” that, at the shallowest level of comedy, would only be used for shock value. The difference with Louis is that his bits include discussion about why these words and ideas are shitty. There’s a level of reflection and compassion present–either an explicit or implicit acknowledgement that he’s saying potentially offensive things, but does not *mean* to be offensive.

    Fuck, I’m rambling. I meant for this to be quick.

    Okay, here. The core of “PC” (empathy, understanding of ‘otherness’, acceptance of advantages/disadvantages) is the difference between Louis CK, and, say, Denis Leary.

    (Aside: I know this runs counter to everything I just said about understanding, but my younger brother is severely autistic and I want to punch Leary in his fucking mouth.)

    Hope I didn’t repeat anything that was already said. Unless it was about punching Denis Leary.

  7. jeff says:

    That ” . ” doesn’t stand for “period”.
    It was just the first thing I thought of to add an extra space.

  8. jeff says:

    Full reply would be too long and all over the place so I’ll cut this to the bare bones.

    There is a difference between suppression (which Bastien was not doing) and counter speech (speech with a counter point to the one you were making).

    People like Bastien (commenting on differences of circumstance between minorities and the majority) are not pissing on the bill of rights by leaving that comment.

    Suppression of speech by authority or through harassment is something to fight against. Random individuals writing to their 10 twitter followers that they don’t like it when you say fag is not suppression.

    For your next comment, how do you feel about Whitney Cummings? Just kidding, hope Pete helps you edit out that chunk of your comment if you want.

  9. Red Scott says:

    This is probably my favorite episode, with Myq Kaplan being the second favorite. When I saw Metzger pop up I was excited to hear him talk to Pete about religion and you two did not disappoint.

  10. James says:

    Aziz is funny, his tweets are funny, his Kanye stories are funny. We like him because he isn’t bitter and judgmental and shit. Some of us like to enjoy comedy. He’s famous because he’s better, you just don’t want what he’s selling because you all think you’re Bill Hicks and a lot of us don’t want the high school educated angry white boy cynicism over and over again. You’re soooo edgy repeating the exact same Bill Burr rants the last 6/10 guests did.

  11. Laura says:

    I didn’t mean to post twice. Also, I look better in green anyway.

  12. Laura says:

    I believe it was Nietzsche, Socrates or My Mom who
    once said ” Fighting on the Internet is a lot like winning the special olympics…even if you win, you are still retarded.”

    I think the real issue is with the rabid faux-fendedness that sweeps the nation and actual racism/homophobia or sexist behaviours. Off colour joking appeals to even the most bleeding heart of liberals like myself, & I don’t feel compelled to pretend that it doesn’t.

  13. Laura says:

    I believe it was Nietzsche, Socrates or My Mom who
    once said ” Fighting on the Internet is a lot like winning the special olympics…even if you win, you are still retarded.”

    I think the real issue is with the rabid faux-fendedness that sweeps the nation and actual racism/homophobia or sexist behaviours. Off colour joking appeals to even the most bleeding heart of liberals like myself, & I don’t feel compelled to pretend that it doesn’t.

  14. jeff says:

    Kurt Metzger is exactly like the Christian majority (Christian-by-name-only if Kurt prefers) that likes to pretend they are the persecuted and powerless.

    You hilarious bitches whining about the PC police. You know what the PC police isn’t? Actual police so why don’t you stop crying into your panties that some people twittered and wrote little-blogs-that-10-people-read about the comedy you chose to put out there. If it was private and delicate to you you should have kept it safe and hidden up your warm butthole instead of putting it out there to the not-so-nice “pussified” public.

    I remember Bret Ernst retelling how some girl blogged about his stand up (she apparently viewed it as racist) and he earnestly and plaintively asked, “where do we draw the line?”

    You got blogged about by some girl, you didn’t get the ass-raping you deserve. Just kidding. I’m doing that rape-joking thing we all agree is great to do.

    She also didn’t stop you from saying whatever bullshit you want to say.

    The shit that: “I am gracious enough to ALLOW you to bear witness to”

    hahah you ARE funny you self-shilling self-aggrandizing fuck, “bear witness to” bet you felt almost “college-level-smarts” pulling that one out.

    “There are no consequences for blasphemy. This is America.”

    There are no legal consequence you moron did you hear the police sirens coming for you? Go fuck yourself.

    And sometimes people respond to shit you said because you are wrong not because they are offended but comedians like to hide behind “all those PC police are just offended”. Your teacher wasn’t “offended” when he corrected you that the answer to 10-divided-by-5 isn’t to drool on your paper. And I’m not offended if I respond to the idiocy of your thoughts on race and your race rankings or whatever other bullshit you were talking.

    You DON’T have any responsibility with your comedy but it does have an effect. And this sentence has nothing to do with your safety blanket: that everyone is just “offended” when they counter something you said.

    Take some more pride in not knowing cis-gendered and then in also not knowing what the fuck you are talking about in general. You’re getting rich for “legitimizing” the thoughts of other idiots like you but you’re still not happy. “Why do other people like Bastien get to criticize me?? This is America!!!”

    Kurt even though you have a great life and my life is fucking pathetic and miserable, you are STILL even more pathetic than I am. Good job.

    You rock Pete! Keep it crispy! (Don’t care if you’d hate me for not liking several of your guests I still love your podcast and comedy!)

  15. Mark Rajca says:

    I love this straight talk. Kurt’s view and explanations clarified and sort of legitimized my own. Great episode.

  16. Scha says:

    Bastien makes some very good points.

  17. Justin says:

    All this arguing is confusing. I’m pretty sure a couple of the people arguing with each other actually agree with each other. It’s fucking strange. Anyways, the topic being argued is one that is nearly impossible to argue in comment form. There’s not enough info to be arguing. There’s no context for anyones beliefs and position. Everyone is just tossing out random opinions, remarks and ad homonyms in rebuttal to other random opinions, remarks. My balls hurt reading this stuff. Lets just assume that anyone listening to or perticapating in this show is a good person who tries their best to be kind.
    Humbly yours,
    Some faceless prick.

  18. kurt metzger says:

    Actually a lot of that sounds more hostile than I wanted it to now that Im reading it. Imagine I’m saying it as a zombie maybe.

  19. kurt metzger says:

    Bastien, that sounds like higher education bullshit talk. What garbage gender studies class did you take from a tenured pinko that taught you to spout this stupid gibberish?

    My only social responsibility in comedy is to be funny. Nothing else. Comedy is not “fighting the man” or “speaking the truth to power” or whatever you think it is because you don’t do it for a living and aren’t funny and don’t know what you’re talking about. It can be those things, but the funny part comes before any of that. As long as I achieve that I have done my job. Even if I don’t, so what? Don’t laugh at it. I didn’t botch your kidney transplant, I just sucked.

    In fact, there is no moral component to it at all. What I do is not a form of propaganda. It’s merely an honest response to pain that I am gracious enough to ALLOW you to bear witness to. I am not telling anyone to “cut the tall trees”, I am a clown. I am only guilty of blasphemy. There are no consequences for blasphemy. This is America.

    This is your worst point after the “cisgendered” part: “When you turn something like race, sexuality, gender, etc into a joke, you’re turning those people into a joke. When they’re a joke, they’re no longer human beings, and then people don’t have to care about them any more. They become second class citizens.”

    My goodness, what a truly idiotic statement that could only be made in a fit of academic blindness by someone with little to no experiential knowledge. No one with any real world experience would ever use a word like “cisgendered” at all, let alone unleash it with such glee. “Finally my chance to use ‘cisgendered’! At last, the student has become the teacher!” Ugh, you probably thought you were doing me a huge favor laying that on me. You should go watch Blazing Saddles right now and apologize to me.

    I actually have quite a few fans who are “those people” as you call them. None of them seem offended by anything I say. They seem to really enjoy it. So why do you need to be offended on their behalf? This is what I was talking about on the podcast.

    I know you were not trying to attack me. You were merely condescending to me as if I were your father who wasted money sending you to NYU so you could come home and talk like a goddamn twinkie. If you’re a girl I excuse you. I know it’s not easy to look like a lesbian potato with Dilbert glasses. If you’re a man you should be forced to sit down to pee from now on.

  20. kurt metzger says:

    what does cis-gendered mean? I’m cis-gendered? Am I gonna be die?

  21. mary says:

    Dug this one very much.

    Everyone has the right to feel offended. (DUH.) Just as everyone has the right to not feel badly if they’ve offended someone. In my opinion, the issue is not a person’s language but their INTENT. If the intent is to be funny or even just harmless ignorance, then let it fucking go.

    I bristled at a lot of the things that came out of Kurt’s mouth but I wasn’t “offended” by them because he’s clearly a very thoughtful person. His distinction between between being racist and being bigoted was an important one. We’re all bigoted/prejudiced about different things and to differing degrees. That shit is baked into us by our life experiences. But if you can, as Kurt put it, allow yourself to be “talked out of it,” if you are a REASONABLE person, then I have no problem with you expressing your views, whatever they may be. Unfortunately, there are a lot of dummies who are unreasonable and who cannot think for themselves. Those are the people who perpetuate prejudiced ideas.

    Also — “I’m too fat for this phone call.”

  22. Philip Rogers says:

    ” Some whore they kept in the attic” Greatest line ever!

  23. mitchell b says:

    two episodes within two days? free podcast??

  24. Roman says:


    I understand Bastien’s position clearly, and I disagree with his conclusions. He is implying that Kurt or anyone who is a heterosexual cisgendered white male is unable to understand that dehumanizing language is wrong and painful. He is applying a broad brush to a whole group of people in a serious manner, and with a tone of accusation-like anger I might add. This is why I responded so strongly and with such heated language. I regret that I was not more calm in my typing.

    Dehumanizing language spoken in society used in a serious way is atrocious, and a problem that should be dealt with and I encourage strong condemnation. However I believe that without use of that dehumanizing language and the societal condemnation of it (this includes jokes as a means to point out the ridiculousness of said language), this type of barbaric belief will never be fully eradicated. I think that dehumanizing language should be normalized, but only in its true context; that it is a terrible divisive thing.

  25. jsl says:

    btw, although I disagree with Kurt on that point, I loved most of what he said in this episode.

  26. jsl says:

    Roman, you’re a strawman slinging idiot who is missing the entire point. Bastien is not demonizing white people, he’s pointing out that the people who seem so uptight about others “being offended” are the people who aren’t personally effected by the normalization of dehumanizing language.

  27. jamison says:

    lets not laugh at anything… lets listen to/ or go see comedy to police the ideas/expression of others… lets treat every thing with kids gloves until the world becomes a massive beige colored omnisexual hug wherein everyone gets a trophy.

  28. Roman says:

    @ Bastion

    Get off your high horse you ignorant racist mouth breather.

    Here are some ideas:

    How about you try not to generalize and demonize heterosexual white males. Although I get the feeling that this may disturb your sense of victimization. Guess what? People of every race, gender, and sexual identity has shitty people, and we all have to deal with it.

    You seem not to be able to comprehend context and the differences between types of speech. Any topic should be able to be talked and joked about; especially those that cause us offense. This allows us to fully inspect the issue and to understand why it brings us or others that offense or pain. It also allows us to express our opposition of a topic or event.

    Here’s an example for you:

    Words like nigger, fag, spic, etc., should be talked about because then you can fully understand why they are terrible. Then you can see how in the wrong context they can actually hurt people.

    By ignoring or banning these words or topics (like you are advocating) you ignore the real issue of WHY, and that is the most hurtful of all to society as a whole.

    Pete, I’m sorry for such strong language, but these extremist pc people who don’t understand the context of language and express their ignorant views openly in order to suppress speech really pisses me off.

    Keep it crispy! lol 😉

  29. ablestmage says:

    I agree that being offended is the most pathetic motivation for anything, and especially a double who-cares on those people who are offended on behalf of people that never even hear it. “Hey, you can’t say retard anymore, because it offends xyz.” Does it? Did you ask them? I’m pretty sure generalizations of a group of people are more offensive, and to say xyz is “offended” by something by default, means that whole cluster of people can’t help but feel a certain way, which seems more insulting than saying a word and risking that someone might be. Who cares either way =P

    I’m a non-traditional Christian, and the “all of the bible is true” argument seems like utter hooey. Nowhere in the whole bible itself demands that the whole bible is true.. the only thing even close to that, about scripture being good for instruction, etc, wasn’t even scripture at the time it was written, and was just a regular postal letter then, and turned into scripture years and years after the fact.

    This was a really good episode, with several agreements and disagreements all over..

  30. Andrew says:

    Kurt Metzger is a hero. You rage against awful things by making jokes about them. BOOM.

  31. Max Heron says:

    When you said Derosa, did you mean Marty Derosa? If so, he would be awesome on your podcast! You guys could talk about pro wrestling and depression and all that weirdness!

  32. bastien says:

    Of course nothing offends you, Kurt, you’re a heterosexual cisgender white male. Those people rule the world.

    When someone is legitimately offended, it’s because whatever you just said has an impact on their lives or the lives of others. So many comedians just do not understand that what they say actually has consequences for the people they’re making fun of. When you turn something like race, sexuality, gender, etc into a joke, you’re turning those people into a joke. When they’re a joke, they’re no longer human beings, and then people don’t have to care about them any more. They become second class citizens.

    So of course nothing offends you, Kurt. Society is run by people just like you. But if you stop and think for 30 seconds, you might realize that there’s more people in the world than just you. And they get treated like shit on a daily basis just for existing.

  33. bastien says:

    Pete, if you don’t mind, while listening to this episode I will be picturing Kurt as a zombie and you as a fish man.