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Wanna Stop Drinking? Pills To The Rescue!

I have a joke in my act about how “drinking is like pouring smiles on your brain.” Now a new drug might be able to wipe that stupid grin right off it. A new drug currently in clinical trials attempts to bind to a receptor that blocks the good times you feel within the first half hour of your nightly boozing. This could dissuade some from having the second drink altogether, though the drug does nothing to quell the other effects of alkyhol such as hangovers, addiction or the need to fill a hopeless void. Obviously most people don’t have a problem with drinking but for those who do, anything that contributes to sobriety is good. Unless killing sorority girls takes the edge off. In that case, it might be better to stay on the sauce.

As a side note, I quit the stuff five years ago and if you’re the kind of person who muses to yourself, “Man, I sure wish I could be the kind of person who is satisfied just having one or two drinks every once in a while,” then you think about it too much and should probably not drink. But, do whatever you want. I’m not your life boss.


Via [Discovery News]

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  1. nelver says:

    do you have a number for the pills.

  2. chrisallen says:

    i’m a gigging musician, and i’ve unfortunately sat in with so many DRUNK musicians on stage, it’s really sad. they don’t know what they’re doing, play like crap, say STUPID stuff on the mic and make the whole band look bad.

    drunk comedy can’t be that good either… jeff dunham has a dvd where he says they shot 2 shows back to back for the dvd and he got a bit liquored in between the 2 and totally lost his train of thought during the 2nd show!

  3. The Nerdist says:

    Alan, I’m not gonna lie. There’s a lot of booze readily available in comedy. Seeing the occasional hammered, trainwreck of a comic helps keep it undesirable.

    Beau: I don’t know but I do remember a Dark Side where Stacey Keach gets a head of hair that turns out to be tiny aliens.

  4. Beaucifer says:

    Wasn’t this an episode of the Outer Limits or Monsters where the pill turned out to be some kind of creature that would only grow it the host drank alcohol?

  5. Alan says:

    If my last entrie’s snarkery wasn’t obvious, I’m saying that alcohol screws things up. Also, 5 years ftw to you Chris as I’d guess avoiding alcohol as a stand-up (in bars, other comics networking/drinking) might be challenging.

  6. Alan says:

    C’mon. Chris, were it not for alcohol many of us would not be here today. Impede al-kee-haul consumption and the human species would end by attrition.

  7. Adam says:

    I thought they already had this.

    Movies wouldn’t lie, would they?