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Vodka Eyeballing

Russians may make the best vodka, but Americans are proving they can do the most damage with it.

Apparently, there is a new “college craze” called vodka eyeballing where instead of taking shots of vodka in your mouth (you know, like humans do) you take them in your eye. YOUR FUCKING EYE.

These teenage geniuses believe this gets them drunk faster because the alcohol is going straight into their blood vessels. Not surprisingly, opthalmologists disagree. Not only is this retarded (yeah, I’m using the R-word here), but it can cause severe and possible permanent damage. Although if you’re stupid enough to pour vodka in your eyes to begin with, maybe you deserve it.

Ever notice how all of these “teen trends” are with the college-educated kids? This really makes me wonder what the hell the G.E.D. folks might be up to!

Watch the insanity here:



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  1. Caleb says:

    Uh, I have my GED, I go to school full time, and work a full time job and I’m perfectly content with my life. I’m working towards a great degree and going to an amazing college. So, don’t lump ‘GED folks’ together, dumbass.

  2. BK says:

    I like to put peanut butter on my junk. It doesn’t get me high but my dog seems to like it.
    Proud recipient of public school education

  3. Floyd says:

    Well this is nothing compared to Penis-Hot-Sauce-Q-Tipping.

  4. PPeddlerBunky89 says:

    The truth of the matter is that most college students (me not included, my parents refuse to drop a dime on my education other than letting me stay in their house and buy my own food) are sent off to live by themselves for free at school, there parents send them all the money they could ever need, they have no worries in the world, most of them don’t even care if they pass or not. Obviously this could lead to them doing some really really dumb things, and I wish I could say that truly nobody is dumb enough to put vodka in their eyes expecting a buzz, but my little bro who still goes to the high school I graduated from just informed me that it really isn’t a joke, kids at his school will put vodka in eye droppers and carry it around school cuz they think it’s the new way to get drunk at school without getting caught. He also told me that kids are now into “rectal consumption” or as they call it “@$$ Blasting.” Cute right? They literally take a beer bong (for those of you who grew up before the beer bongs invention, it’s essentially a funnel with a tube you put in your mouth that you chug beer out of. Imagine a really large funnel you’d have in your kitchen with a plastic hose extending from the small end.) 4 of his friends have been hospitalized because they think they can still drink (is that the right word?) as many beers rectally as they can orally. Kids are getting dumber and dumber. 1 kid has died so far, poor guy. He put a Percocet in his behind and then siphoned a beer into his rectum…deadly combination orally, let alone rectally. I remember back in my high school days, if anything even went near your butt, kids gave you never ending insults for it, I remember sitting on a pencil the wrong way and I heard “man didn’t know you went that way…especially with pencils?”, “never seen a pencil box like that before!”, “aren’t you afraid that the lead’ll break off in there…queer.”, and etc. I guess now it’s cool to put things in your butt. Which is exactly why I wouldn’t mind having an exit only sign stamped across my rear end!

  5. curious georgia says:

    This takes all the fun out of it. The whole point of Vodka is to enjoy the smooth taste(that’s if you drink the good stuff)! Why waste perfectly good Vodka by putting it in your eye?!? I would imagine it would make your eyes burn. Then your eyes would tear up and it would run back out anyway. Besides, Vodka tastes much better with cranberry juice than with salty tears.

  6. Hurricane Ditka says:

    Why do they always ask a guy in a office about the issue? Or some person on the street? Get one of the idiots in the Youtube videos on the set and ask them! That would make for some good television. They would have to explain to all the viewers why they are morons!

    If they do it enough to make them go blind, wouldn’t that be Darwinism? Since I doubt they would procreate after that.

  7. Tony says:

    Clever name, Mike.

    I have a GED and I got it!

  8. Mike Litoris says:

    Anjeanette, GED folks have gone straight to Meth and are currently watching their teeth fall out.

  9. Gabriel says:

    This sounds like a bunch of crap. Just like satanist day cares, D&D turning kids crazy, jr. high rainbow parties, death panels, compasionate conservatives, etc, etc. It is most likely a load of crap. A tiny drop of vodka in the eye will burn and be very uncomfortable. I find it very difficult to believe that large numbers of college students or anyone else are doing shots in their eyes on purpose and more than one time.

  10. Lee says:

    I have a GED, and an associates. I find it presumptuous to think GED people are NOT college people. However, more to the point of what I’m ‘up to’; I work as an engineering technician on Govt and military infrared camera systems. : ]

    P.S. I would never pour vodka in my eyeballs.
    …or huff cow shit, or canned air, or have a cat ‘spray’ me in the face.

  11. Tom says:

    This is one of those “trends” born in urban legend that local news outlets pick up on slow news days. Take with a grain of Jenkem.

  12. kj says:

    I have a GED and I would never do anything *this* stupid, although I would do plenty of other stupid things.

    And I agree with kerk on the second point.

  13. Matt says:

    The G.E.D. kids, generally speaking, are often out working minimum-wage jobs, desperately trying to support themselves on the pittance they get for back-breaking labour. Many of them don’t have the time to be this stupid.

    The reason why college kids get up to so much stupidity is they have much more free time on their hands, plus, since most of them move away from home to go to school, they no longer have parents that tell them what they can and can’t do. The end result? Vodka in your eye.

  14. kerk says:

    That has to be most stupid and moronic thing ever. On another note, Anjeaneete is very attractive.