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Tree Wieners [NSFW?]

I know, I know! I’m 15.

This picture was taken at the Huntington Botanical Gardens in San Marino, CA. Yes, that is my hand. Normally I would agree that the “that thing looks like a dong!” comedy is low brow even for me, BUT THIS TREE REALLY LOOKS LIKE A DONG. Either this tree mounts other trees to reproduce or is pollinated by really slutty bees. The only thing this imagery was missing was sap dribbling out of the end. If  someone kicked or punched it we could put it on Web Soup (or launch Tree Soup for the best viral tree nut shots around).

On that tip, please watch an all-new Web Soup tonight on G4 at 5p/8p PT/ET immediately following Attack of the Show! It’s our second to last new ep of the season so let’s keep this Dream Factory alive!


Image: Chris Hardwick/Nerdist

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  1. Franklin says:


  2. Sandra Daugherty says:

    “on that tip…”!!! – my inner 15-year-old just laughed and punched your inner 15-year-old in the arm for that one.

  3. omg says:

    this is soo like you chris hardwick=chris harddick

  4. JKW says:

    What concerns me more is your pasty white skin. Just sayin’

  5. Patti says:

    Thank you, Fulano, for that video footage of the penis tree. RIP. You will live on in video form. Btw, that was pretty damn funny.

  6. Scott says:

    Got wood?

  7. Greg says:


  8. Chris Hardwick says:

    Now, Derek, that is EXACTLY the kind of comment that would win a caption contest.

  9. Derek says:

    Tree tugger

  10. K says:

    keep on with the gentle rubbing and you’ll get sap all over your hand.

  11. Fulano says:

    I thought I was going to find this:

  12. Doreen says:

    I have to say the coarse white hairs on the nutsack are what really make this picture sing.

  13. anonymouse says:

    First dolphins, now trees?
    great job 😀

  14. Dan says:

    Do you think it cums maple syrup?

  15. Ryanz says:

    Should see the current “Visit Louisiana” commercial, the guy in the canoe totally caresses the erect swamp tree penis as he passes. =]

  16. Nancy says:

    how long was it after you saw the tree that you associated it with a dong? I would argue that the number of seconds is inversely related to one’s mental age ;^)

  17. steve says:

    Wow Hardwick, what kind of dong do YOU have? that tree’s dong does not look like mine at all. it’s a scary looking!

  18. john says:

    Is that an african tree?

  19. Joseph says:

    Ohmigosh! I’m going to go out on a limb here and say I definitely would not want that thing to penetrate me.

  20. justhesh says:

    Wow. You were absolutely right, Hardwick. That is a treenis if ever there was one.

  21. Evan Schwartz says:

    Thumbs up…intentional?