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The Tom Hanks Typewriter Saga

What a fun week! I suspected the Tom Hanks podcast would do well, but it has seriously blown up in a way that shouldn’t have surprised me, given what an amazing fellow Tom is. You guys have been SUPER nice and it makes me proud beyond words of the Phone Radio thing we make, as one delightful listener’s son called it. Not to get all mushy, but yesterday (Oct 8th) was my 9th anniversary of “Hey I’m probably not someone who should be allowed to put alcohol into their bodies so I better knock this shit off,” so the posting of this episode on that day was a wonderful celebration of that decision and all of the good/exciting things that have followed it.

The idea to send Tom a vintage typewriter actually came from one of our genius talent bookers, Ashley (who formerly booked for Conan and who now deserves chocolates and foot massages every day). I decided the best way to go about this was to type out the invitation on said typewriter, leave it in the carriage and send the whole thing in a pretty box. We found a snazzy 1934 Smith Corona portable, in good shape and fully functional:

Place letter in typewriter, roll, close case, send:

And this was the letter I wrote:

Dear Tom,

Please accept this typewriter–o–gram as a formal invitation to be a a guest on my wildly-popular-with-the-kids Nerdist Podcast. It is a super relaxed, fun chat that will probably cover comedy, NASA, and whatever else you want to talk about — a new WEBSERIES, perhaps?? We are nice guys who are easy to get along with and have never murdered anyone. Other guests have included folks like your son Colin, Tina Fey, Conan, Jimmy Fallon, Bryan Cranston, John Lithgow, Willem Dafoe, JJ Abrams, Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Degrasse Tyson, Joel McHale, Jon Hamm, and THE MUPPETS. It would be an absolute dream come true to add you to this list. Please accept this 1934 Smith Corona as a gift for even considering this request. It should only VERY SLIGHTLY affect your decision.

Hugs and high fives,

Chris “Vintage Typewriters” Hardwick

And this was the response:

Dear Chris, Ashley, and all the diabolical genuies at Nerdist Industries.

Just who do you think you are to try to briibe me into an appearance on your
’thing’ with this gift of the most fantastic Cornona Silent typewriter made in 1934?

You are out of your minds if you think… that I… wow, this thing has great action…
and this deep crimson color… Wait! I’m not so shallow as to… and it types nearly

I will have my people contact yours and work out some kind of interview process…

Damn you all to hell,
Tom Hanks

PEOPLE REALLY WIN ON MTV!!! Wait–that’s not what I meant to say. But this is still one of the greatest things I’ve gotten to do and I appreciate the shit out of it. Tom Hanks is a glimmering example of what every person who is fortunate enough to live his/her dreams should aspire to be and will definitely sit atop my pantheon of role models in fashionable yet not-too-revealing Zeus robes. /fanboy

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